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The Fantilator Page (cern.ch)
407 points by edent on Sept 25, 2023 | hide | past | favorite | 75 comments



For those looking for paid tiers: https://careers.cern/

Edit: for context, the original post title was “OnlyFans” (pointing out the joke subdomain, onlyfans.web.cern.ch).


And if you prefer professionals, not amateurs: https://windshape.com/technology-2/


There is even a "Technician for cooling and ventilation systems" Opening

https://jobs.smartrecruiters.com/CERN/743999929693353-techni...


The CERN folks are a humorous bunch, I assume one of them is responsible for naming this epic roundabout close to CERN the "large car collider" on Google maps https://maps.app.goo.gl/iLWZRLLUWhDTjiDS7


They seem to be a pretty chill bunch, I wouldn't mind working there a few years.

I assume it is good for the CV too ;)


It was FAN while it lasted! /giggles


[flagged]


... why?


Requiring to upload full portfolio and diplomas in the first step with probability of success as in any other job application, and the salaries... ehhh you're expected to live off "the prestige".


Salaries are specified in the "job grade" section, which it's linked salary it's public here: https://careers.cern/salary-conditions

also, if I recall properly of my time there salary was free of taxes :)


The second highest is 108k CHF annually so we're looking rather at something around 70k. In Zurich. As a new arrival one is always expected to "put their foot in the door" and once you walk in, you learn you don't belong.


It is an entry-level salary. So if it is comparable to most other Swiss salaries for higher education, it will be able to increase by at least 70%.


But as a tech worker I can expect, screw that, demand at least 320k for a junior role! Otherwise I will be poooooor! /s

Sometimes the VC-backed bubble entitlement is nothing short of stunning.


> demand at least 320k

Instead there is "we think 70k is a fair salary (please don't look at our housing market)"... I don't think either of the amounts is reasonable.


Depends with whom you compare youself. First, as others pointed out, CERN is 100k for an entry level position that is tax excempt. Second, while I don't know about Zurich, 70k are enough to live a comfortable live in Munich. Not sure whatelse people wanr, because 70k is way above what most people in, in my example, Munich earn, and those people live as well.

Maybe people should step out of their pseudo-rich bubble and become a little bit more modest. Also, not measuring everything based on one figure, e.g. yearly salary, propably improves live quality quite a bit.


This all might be true if housing is somehow not a problem. Otherwise one is forced to climb up from the bottom-most layer of a pit of scams and abuse.


Since when is housing not part of living? My example explicitly includes housing / renting in one of the most expensive cities in Germany.


[flagged]


You've unfortunately been breaking the site guidelines a ton lately. If that keeps up, we're going to have to ban your account. I don't want to ban you, so would you please review the rules and stick to them? We want thoughtful, substantive, and above all curious conversation here. We don't want snark, name-calling, or flamewar.

https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html


And also they pay for your health insurance, which in Switzerland is far from negligible


You know the truth about SERN, right?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steins;Gate_(TV_series)

and how they covered up superluminal neutrinos?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYh0tWNeZJw


El Psy Kongroo



You reminded me of one of the greatest websites to ever grace the Internet.

www.FurniturePorn.com


That site has the same aesthetic as the "ninjas have real ultimate power" site

http://realultimatepower.net/

The early internet was an awesome place


"What colour should we use for our website?"

"All of them"


It's definitely the most year 2000 website I've seen in a while.


Just here to remind people that not that long ago famous people used to screw their fans and post the pictures online, on tweeter even:

https://old.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/tjmk2/zach_braff_pos...



That is EXACTLY what I thought it would be, but with a slight difference: ceiling fans :D


So your expectations were quite high


I was blown away


As a new dad, I really appreciate all the puns here. Making dad jokes in the future should be a breeze.


Is this some kind of wind-up?


If it is, it's not flying.


For that, you need to duct those onlyfans!


I wasn’t sure what the joke would be when I clicked.

What does this do?


woosh.


Quite literally.


What really get me is the FantilatorOS. They even open sourced it: https://github.com/justinasr/FantilatorOS/tree/master/kernel


IMO the best thing is that they already had the site as of 2018, they just renamed it for the joke.


This is the web we want


What, no Big Ass Fans? I'm disappointed.

https://bigassfans.com/


I had to check it. Yes, those are the ones at every IKEA.


I was at CERN when this happened.

I actually worked in this same office, can't say I collaborated on it. But i'll tell you how it was built.

CERN is a place where you can find plenty of tech garbage. In fact, there is a dedicated garbage container on each building, you can find non working computers, keyboards, even physics experiment stuff there.

It was summer and we were dying of heat working there. Productivity was zero. Given it's an open office AC was non-viable.

Here comes my friend Marcel, resourceful german smart guy -among the most interesting people i've met- guy decided to take the matter onto his hands and thought he could just take off the fan from old computers and join em up to create a huge one. So he went onto garbages around and handpicked the fans he needed -the thing should actually be called "Marcel Andre's Fans"- although it wouldn't be useful until next summer, the thing became a bonding after work experiment. Eventually Justinas, the guy you see in github as the author of PhantilatorOS joined the project and worked as Marcel's assistant, eventually taking over and creating PhantilatorOS.

The end result was damn powerful, you turned that thing on and you could really _feel_ the air breeze, and could actually graduate it by a knob.

Happy to say, the next summer, the problem was solved and the Phantilator went into use... By Andrius and me the two guys who didn't collaborate but enjoyed the benefits of those two guys Marcel and Justinas.

I'm pretty sure some of the software we built was thrown away. Happy to tell you the Phantilator is still there to aid for summer heat on that office.

Other funny note, we had an old computer where you ssh'ed and as the disk went out it turned off the light switch.

I miss those CERN days. We had lots of fun.


See it in action https://user-images.githubusercontent.com/10719524/271025217...

To be fair it was actually built 50/50 by Justinas and Marcel. It seems I gave all credit to Marcel


"given it's open office, AC is non viable" !?!


Well it's kind of a really open office. Third floor of this pic http://cds.cern.ch/record/1363014/files/IMG_0051.JPG?subform...


Who changed the title? It was perfect the way it was.


This is quality clickbait.


I was delivered exactly what I was promised. 0% click-bait, 100% expectation management.


> FantilatorOS

Absolutely, to get the most out of your fantilator, it has to be controlled by a real and dedicated FantilatorOS!

https://github.com/justinasr/FantilatorOS/


Looks quite interesting. Can you expand the README with some info on how to use it?


I know a German site doing the same: https://nurluefter.de/luefter/


with their own dedicated fan club I see: https://nurluefter.de/luefter/21-01-26%2002-49-15%200007.jpg


This has clear Universal Paperclips undertones.


I hope this isn't too unrelated, but I've named [bigassfans.com](https://bigassfans.com) my Best World Wide Web Site of The Year Award for 13 years in a row!


Fan-tastic!


What are these fan matrices used for? Are multiple small fans with holes between them better or as good as bigger desk fans?


Scientists and engineers that have a sense of humor - those are the folks that I like to hire.


Yes, I fell for the clickbait :)


I wanna subscribe take my money


Well, I only clicked because I wanted to see pics of... Computer fans


blew me away


A project that truly gives power to their fans


Are they trying to make a new type of drone?


The only job of fans is to blow, right?


They suck too.


This breezy bunch of models is Smoove


I'm confused now


Imagine the hum...


Large hard-on collider.


To achieve stimulated emission


Oh no you made it worse XD


In grad school a fellow student and i came up with a dozen double entendres. I only remember a few.


Why?


Now we know what all those tax euros are funding at CERN!




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