If you can't figure out how to use the desktop without the start button (by going to the left-right sides with a mouse movement that is even easier to do), then you really should be using the Metro UI instead, because it was made exactly for you.
> I can pick up my iPad and instantly figure it out.
1. When I got my iPad it enraged me to learn/figure-out that I had to install iTunes and connect the two.
2. You're now comparing the touch based iPad UI with mouse/keyboard driven Windows 8 Desktop UI.
2. It doesn't matter if it's apples-to-oranges as far as touch vs. mouse/keyboard - the key issue here is how understandable the UI is. Windows 7, if you know how to use a mouse and a keyboard, is completely understandable. Windows 8 makes absolutely no sense.