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Agree—I think it's perhaps the largest part of chicken-and-egg problem here IMO. You need to be genuinely confident if you want to convince people. And being really sure that you're right is the best way to act confidently.

AFAIK having some mild mania helps in this regard. Probably there are also ways to hack your mind to temporary ‘disable’ doubts that can tone you down.

it's definitely a tough balancing act - if you're too sure, you might miss signals that you need to adjust or pivot - you have to calibrate your own feelings and thought processes so that you are confident enough to push but also realistic enough to make good decisions.

or maybe you just bring a pusher onto the team to spread the word if the hacker is more of a diffident type

Confidence and being self aware doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. In fact, I believe they're complementary. Now, if you were to describe it as arrogance, then it may be cause to miss some cues.

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