Typical story I imagine-- ambitious, smart, promising career, was a technical co-founder at a small startup, and things seemed fine. Then I found myself wandering in the woods all day, crying for no reason and looking for non-existent fossils, which I found. I eventually saw petrified sea creatures everywhere and stopped going to work, or answering my phone, paying bills, etc. Things ended predictably, in horrible slow motion. Now I have a two year hole in my life, and I’ll never forgive myself for what I put my family through.
But nobody else will ever know that.
I’m functional and back in the industry, but it’s not the sort of thing people discuss at the water cooler.
So I’d like to ask if anyone else had a secret breakdown? I’m curious if my story is an outlier, or if this is one of those things that “just happens” to some people.
And when I really try to focus I just go blank in my head. Can't explain shit.
I'm trying to slowly get back on the pony just because I'm ashamed of all the salary I've collected for what little work I've been able to do.
Haven't done therapy lately but one thing that comes to mind is how futile everything is. I know it's a cliché but I'm almost 40 so this isn't your regular teenage angst "nothing matters", I thought I was past that.
It might be rooted in the fact that I don't have kids, I haven't found purpose yet. But the thoughts that come to mind is that this could all end tomorrow and wtf are we working for when we could be living?