The author comes off as lacking EQ. It’s strange to ask someone’s last night before you’ve met them, so that’s a red flag for the author. Being judgmental about someone’s voice, another red flag. And the 35th and 8th thing? Why wouldn’t you just drop it? Too quick to point out flaws, another red flag. I grew up in NYC and at one point in my youth, I had the same answer as her.
If she was annoyed by the random ketchup question, It’s likely because you have put so little effort into building rapport. Those types of random/abstract questions are best AFTER you’ve built a connection with someone… not topic 1, date 1.
Sorry to vent, but it annoys me to see this posted on HN.
Dating is about compatibility. If it isn't working, it isn't working. Incompatibility does not mean either person is bad or unworthy. It just means there's no point to another date, and the faster you can make that call, the better for everyone.
I don't really know either of the two people from the article, so I'll let others decide who dodged a bullet there.
Yeah if a friend send me this article I would assume we’d be laughing at how bad the author is at social interactions. It’s embarrassing reading through the story and thinking that she was the issue.
The author was throwing out huge low EQ vibes. I see this a lot especially in technical fields and it’s really aggravating as it’s never the other persons fault.
You say you lived in NYC but didn’t understand how the grid was in streets and avenues, incrementing to make finding “35th & 8th” or most any intersection trivial to find?
How did you typically get around? You never noticed the pattern of incrementing streets when taking the subway or walking?
Not trying to be rude, I’m just curious at how this is even possible.
I think you’re completely off? seems like the date was lacking any sense of decorum- who in their right mind suggest that someone might be a serial killer before you’ve met them? Hell, who even asks for directions at this point, just plug it in or think about the grid system. Also if someone shows up at a date sounding miserable and disinterested why would you stick around?
I know another English word that comes from Indonesian, as my friend from there likes to proudly tell everyone, "Orangutan". The original meaning is something like "the man of the jungle". I found it really interesting since it's the same word in Spanish, so basically this word has come all the way around the world.
Though TBF a "species word" is a bit of a cheat, since I'm sure there are many more local species like that where if you know the name it'd be in the foreign language, it's just "orangutan" is a fairly common word compared to more specific species names.
About the rest of the article, agreed, the best relationships I've ever had (friends, flings or girlfriends) have always had that curiosity factor strongly present. Though I guess it depends and you need to be a curious person for you to care about it first? Non-curious people might find curiosity boring or even immature?
Random tangent, but the word "jungle" itself is one of the many words that came into english from Indian languages such as Hindi (which in turn got it from the ancient language of Sanskrit)
Tracing the origins of words we use so commonly truly amazes me!
Now go look up what binds together the origins of the words "Salary", "Salads" and "Salami" ;-)
> Little interesting things are all around us. But the uncurious will never know.
Says a lot about a person that they are curious about “ketchup” but so incurious about a person. Even if you do t go on a second date, there is still a lot to be learned by talking with a person. You might have learned something about her life or her experiences. But, “ketchup” was more interesting to the author. I wonder, in the grand scheme of things, who was actually the more incurious person?
The past doesn't actually give the info it teases, so here it is.
> Ketchup comes from the Hokkien Chinese word, kê-tsiap, the name of a sauce derived from fermented fish. It is believed that traders brought fish sauce from Vietnam to southeastern China. The British likely encountered ketchup in Southeast Asia, returned home, and tried to replicate the fermented dark sauce.
I wonder if she actually drank the beer that was served to her not by a bartender, but by her anonymous date who could be a serial killer. That's inadvisable. Never let a drink out of your sight. Always permit your companions to receive their drink directly from the server or bartender.
Wow that is dark. Is that actually common? I get that we wear seatbelts, keep fire extinguishers in our homes, and sleep with pistols under our pillows, but those for some reason don’t have the same sense of “I’m letting the sinister minority get into my daily waking life”.
Sorry to vent, but it annoys me to see this posted on HN.