Feel like the entire Ocean is over your head and drowning? Just wait a bit. Even the tides fall to the moon.
Talk to someone. But just as important, don't give up. There's very few things you can get yourself into that you can't work your way out of.
I'm thinking of particularly recent cases like poor Ilya Zhitomirskiy.
Don't give up, don't give in, you are stronger and bigger than the emptiness you feel inside of your heart right now.
Because of these tasks, I developed a "can-do" attitude. I learnt that if I can figure out how the most efficient way to split firewood, than I can also discover the most efficient way to be fit / be attractive / get high-paying jobs / etc. It just takes cleverness and determination to get out of a bad situation.
Maybe give this game a shot, that a game designer created after herself having suicidal thoughts – it's a playful way to get you to do things that help when you're depressed (talking to people, focusing on short term plans, finding things that make you happy, etc): https://www.superbetter.com
These are the two books that helped the most:
"The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force"
"Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain"