Always thought the 'nudges' often referred to in these experiments would only work if participants were unaware of their existence. If participants become aware of the fact that they're being 'nudged' one way or the other, then their reaction will depend on whether or not they have issues with authority, whether they value their freedom enough to fight for their right to have an independent opinion free from manipulation by other actors, and probably a few other factors.
Many of the successful nudges are things that people don't _want_ to resist, it's just taking frictions away, e.g., organ donation, saving in your 401k, registering to vote, not eating garbage, etc. Stuff people would generally express interest in doing.
I think there might be varying levels of nudges. But yes you're right, people are nudged to do the things they want to as well. Maybe the resentment comes from people being nudged to do what they dont want to e.g. give your credit card information for free trials is almost a universally hated nudge
Most normal people can be told they are being manipulated and it will still work. The percentage that will actually hold the thought that they should resist in their mind without losing focus is very small, in my experience.