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Get a job, any job, now. No matter how low, just get one. Flip burgers, whatever you can do and regain the most important thing that you seem to have lost, which is your self respect.

Higher paying jobs will come and at some point you'll be able to review this period from a position of strength and you'll appreciate what you learned more than you do now. Starting a consultancy business takes 3 years, you can't just stop work one day and expect to stay afloat. That's the only mistake that I think you made, 4 months is way too short.

The first year you lose money, the second you break even (but you're still below 0 because of the first year), the third year you might make some money closing the hole of the first year.

And get yourself some professional help, being suicidal is a really good reason to do so. Don't wait.




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