[UPDATE: Thank you all for your kind words. It really means a lot to me.]
When we have to -- but not before; remember that we are nothing if not lean and agile -- we can have the debate about the karma cutoff for mourning. My initial proposal is: 1.
(Incidentally, more condolences, and I apologize if it is inappropriate to be slightly silly at the memorial. It's my family tradition. I can't let my late grandfather down. ;)
My condoleances for her passing.
I opened the link expecting no surprise. And closed the tab realizing how much I love to see my parents happy, no matter what. Thanks for the lovely and inspiring post.
"We don't know what we got til it's gone..."
Death is Nothing at All by Henry Scott Holland
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without affect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.
All is well.
I just woke up to your email.
First of all my condolences to you
This stuff really hits where it hurts. The 'behind every great man' quote more often than not refers to a mom rather than a spouse and I think it is beautiful of you that you wrote this and I hope that those who don't think this is 'hacker news' can keep their hands of their mouse buttons.
To all of you wondering how many pomodoros worth of productivity you can squeeze out of today: Keep an eye on the rest of your life it is more fleeting than you probably realize.
I love you is so much better than goodbye.
You're a lovely person Ed, now I have a bit more insight into why.
I actually never thought about this until you just said it. I always put it to the spouse not the mom.
It's sad that kids aren't raised like this anymore. In our day you didn't get the trophy unless you deserved the trophy. Now kids get a trophy just for showing up and everyone is special.
Last year, I lost my dad. He was 57; He died on his birthday.
I miss his quirky sense of humor.
These two are my favorites:
When others said, "We need a time-out," or "This is a teaching moment," she just looked at you in such a way that you knew that there would never be a worse feeling than disappointing her.
When you played a song on the piano and she didn't recognize it, she said, "For this we need lessons? Go practice some more!"
My condolences to you, edw519.
Welcome to the very unfortunate club of those of us who have lost a parent. It will always hurt, and it never goes away, but you do come to be at peace with it over time.
I am really thinking about you and this wonderful tribute you've written for your lovely mother right now. You've done something beautiful and she is so proud of you.
My advice at this time is to fully allow yourself to mourn. It's OK. Only you can experience your mourning and it may be the same or it may be different from how other people experience it, but just remember that only you can experience your mourning in the way you need to.
And that is totally cool because you are a beautiful piece of your Mom that is here right now.
Plus... Betty would've wanted it that way.
My sorrows are with you / Marc
But I'll add my condolences for that physical loss.
My condolences to you
I am so lucky that I still have both my loving parents, but I have experienced the loss of loved ones. I find solace in knowing that while they can't make new decisions, their light cone will keep shining in eternity, so they will always be a part of the world.
I've taken note of what she has told you and will try do do my best to absorb and apply it to my own children.
Peace to you and your family.
We all face it one day or another. It never gets better, but we get used to it and we move on.
Lovely writing, as always, Ed, and I think she probably would have smiled for this one.
"Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.", William Makepeace Thackeray.
You're one of the most interesting and inspiring people on Hacker News. I'm sure I speak for many other when I say Thank You for all you've done here.
Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for posting this. Your mother's story has had a compounded effect with your post. Her legacy lives on, and this is just one way: inspiring others on HN to cherish those who love them, which she obviously did with you.
Thanks, and I am sorry for your loss.