I am now paralyzed for the rest of the day. My brain can't snap my schedule into place, so everything I do is a possible conflict with this promise I just made. Even if it's morning, something may happen -- another invitation to do something in the afternoon, maybe -- that I can't resolve because I don't have the necessary information to. This causes overwhelming anxiety.
My entire brain is blocked on resolving this ambiguity. I can't do hard tasks like programming. I can't pay enough attention to my favorite shows to watch them. If I do, I'll end up rewatching them later because I didn't retain anything. Reading a book is out of the question; I'll just end up rereading the same paragraph 20 times in a row then giving up.
The whole day, zapped out of existence.
To others I will appear distracted, hard to hold in conversation, irritable, and in a hurry. Internally, I'd equate it to the feeling you get on a once-in-a-lifetime special day, like your wedding day or a test that could decide your entire career. It's just that I get it from really small things, and all the time.
What I've learned from working with transactional databases
is how to deal with things like this.
You have a time in the evening, now that time
is blocked by your friend (they didn't commit
nor rollback). You can't process further because
of that lock on your time. The lock is unspecific
(there is no start nor end of time).
So you become anxious, because you need to route
things, but you can't do this because of the
There are several strategies that can work:
1. kill the undefined commitment (you can tell them that something came up, so you can be there no longer)
2. specify the bounds of the lock, so that it won't take everything (ask them again for the time and place, if they won't reply do the 1.)
3. Guess it. If it is a drink, then it is after work. Then how much it usually takes me to get there, do it + some padding in case something goes wrong. Basically you do the work on your side.
4. Discard all conflicts. (Tell everyone that you have an important meeting, so you will interact with them tomorrow). Now your whole day is waiting for that meeting and nothing else. In some circumstances it is the right way to go.
5. Optimistic scheduling. Schedule everything to the best of your ability. If something conflicts, kill or reschedule the less important thing. (I am sorry, but something came up, so I can't be there today, maybe tomorrow?)
6. Simply wait. As the day progresses you will get more information to make the right choice