> Why can't the industry tell Congress "This sucks, fix it"
Because the part of the industry which has money and congressional ear either protected (by a huge patent portfolio) or in the game of using their patent portfolio aggressively.
> the way the military did with Don't ask, don't tell?
1. the military is a major reason why DADT was introduced in the first place
2. apart from Mullen (who mostly punted the responsibility to congress), the military (active, retired officers really don't count) did not do anything until well into BO's term, even though repealing DADT was one of BO's campaign issues
the military and DADT really is not a good example of "this sucks, fix it".