Next, get a job. It sounds like your life needs some structure and distraction from your own thoughts. I'm not suggesting this job should be your life's purpose, just enough to give you something to focus on besides yourself.

You are 20. Get a job (for the structure it forces you too, not because its "the thing to do"), attend parties, meet girls, do crazy shit like skydiving, diving, hiking, movie marathons, read books, go live in another country.

I am 28 (in 3 days) and about to be married and then looking at kids. In that time I have lived and studied overseas, traveled a bit, have 2 degrees, have had several full time jobs, dived, hiked and generally had a bloody good time. Guess what though? I didn't start doing ANY of that stuff till I hit 21.

I think the best advice I ever read was that object of life is not to arrive in a pristine body in the afterlife, rather it is to arrive skidding in a broadside totally used up and saying "Damn that was one hell of a ride."

Your life is yours go live it.

Exercise. It will reduce stress and increase your motivation to do well in other things.

Drink some caffeine - it will pump up your adrenaline, motivation, and wake you up -- and is not too harmful as far as drugs go.

Don't worry about school - you can get by without it. But you need to teach yourself - and the best way is to do that is...

Get passionate about something. If you are bored or without aim, you have too much free time on your hands. Build something. Build a game, an app, a website -- anything. Do whatever you have to do to pay your bills, but try to devote your free time to making something you are interested in.

I don't think it's just you. When I was 20 I had a really hard time knowing what I was going to do next (in fact, when I was about 22 I had a real crisis about how I was going to get through the next year because I felt so lost).

I would suggest that you do a couple of things: feeling lost can be a real drain on your ability to see clearly, so you might want to find a counsellor of some sort to talk things through. I'm not suggesting that there's something wrong with you, but my experience is that in life it can be hard to explain to someone you know all the thoughts you are having and it's easier to explain to someone neutral. I've been through that and it does help. It's not a magic bullet but it helps.

Secondly, have you thought about producing something yourself? For example, perhaps you have an idea for a mobile phone app (or game) that you could produce to show off your skills (and perhaps make some money).

though with being somewhat good at both you can go the indie route.

Nevertheless, ten years later, I have a good job, which I absolutely love, and even when I leave home, I can barely wait the next morning so I can come back in and work. (Ok, it's not THAT bad, but you get the idea!)

And whenever I ask myself "what the hell am I going to do when I'm 40?", I know the answer: I'll still be working here, still be loving it. Perhaps I'll have a mid-length tie by then, perhaps not - I'm not worried.

Life, and jobs aswell, has its ups and downs. Starting a career is usually a bit of a downhill ride at first, but don't worry, once you find that one thing you were meant to do, these questions about the future will vanish.

In my job, for example, I fix bugs. While that sounds terribly dull, it actually is not: I get to see a lot of interesting code, that's broken is so subtle ways that most cannot even imagine. I get to work with code written by a lot of very different people, in a lot of different languages. I get to study how these programs interact, how they form a system, how they work together, and why a little tweak here and there can make the whole thing fall apart, or - in the good case - perform much better.

Debugging all the weird problems, diving into assembly on architectures you didn't even see is very interesting to me. And once I come up with a clever fix, that feeling is amazing.

But this isn't your average code monkey job. Those are boring indeed.

I am still amazed I get PAID to sit down and write code. I would do it for free (and frequently do) just because I love it so much.

There are few things that really float my boat, wine (and other beverages), hiking and coding are at the top of my list. The fact that people are willing to pay me for the last one is always a shock. As is when I find others are unable to do it.

Life haven't even started yet kid.

My recommendation is spend those four years working in as many different fields as you can get your foot in the door. Just try a dozen things in two years. Guarantee you will have a much broader view of what is possible than holding a diploma. Plus, you'll get paid for doing it. PLUS, you'll meet (and build relationships) with a lot more people. Particularly if you aren't good at just striking up a friendship, working alongside people is a great way to get to know them.

Your milage may vary.

The possibilities frighten me and excite me at the same time.

Add to that that you'll learn a shared vocabulary and 'way of thinking' which will allow you to communicate better with those connections.

So if you want to know what to study, just ask yourself which company of graduates you would like to belong to.

It'll also help with that sense of identity you felt you were missing.

1. Don't get paralysis.

2. Pick something that gives you good career options. The rest are your hobbies (and it's good to have hobbies).

4. Be cautious taking on any educational debt -- make sure it's worth it.

Your career will take many turns but you want your opening move to be strong.

Frankly, if you can program and enjoy math, your future is bright. When you love your work, you won't need the escapism of substances.

I believe most institutes allow you to change your course(s) and even transfer over to a different program altogether.

Spend the next 10 years learning stuff. Do what you feel like even if it means you will change area of interest every 6 months, even if it means you want to learn knitting.

What will happen is that you will learn how to learn. And that is going to be more beneficial than having a degree.

Enjoy the ride but for frogs sake.... quit the weed.

You'll have lots of chances to learn life's tougher lessons along the way - trust me.

At 20 I was a surf bum that had done very little post secondary. Have now completed a two year diploma from a technical school, a university degree, instructor certifications plus one season each of teaching windsurfing and snowboarding professionally, and I am now a self-taught designer/developer - Rails/Ruby/HTML/CSS. It took 11 years between age 20-31 to figure this all out, so be where you are.

I'm 30 now and I'm asking myself the same thing :) First of all, I think you need to take each step at a time, that's what I do, at least. Also, try having a not-job-related activity if you have the time, it can give you that extra feeling that a month-to-month paycheck or whatever cannot provide.

If it matters, I'm a CS college-dropout, I've been employed and able to support myself since 21, while all my friends only did that in their late 20s. So, on account of that, you're really way above the average in not relying on parents' supports, do not despair :)

The most interesting person I know couldn't give you a job description. He teaches kids, builds giant robot sculptures and creates science museums.

Just hang out with interesting, creative, passionate people and you will discover what you like to do.

For now, stay healthy, keep learning, try lots of things and do good work. You'll be prepared for whatever comes next.

Might give you some relief and perspective.

I'm almost 40, married with 3 kids. I can't remember many of my mistakes at 20, but I can sure remember all the good, wild times.

Be (reasonably) reckless, and have fun discovering who you are, as an adult. Don't get tied down with any debt. Be frugal. Travel a lot.

Stability? Pfft. Stop worrying. I'm laughing at you worrying.

Go get a GED. Go to a community college and do your general studies. After two years, transfer to a state school and declare your major.

Oh, and don't post shit like this here anymore. This isn't a forum for people feeling bad for themselves.

don't worry that you don't know that, it won't be whatever you think when you are 20 anyway.

earn a few bucks and go on a trip some place you find interesting or liked on pictures, you can never go wrong with that.

Sometimes goals don't go as expected, but they will guide you and give you direction.

Obviously, take all responses with a grain of salt, especially mine. No one, except you, is going to experience the wrong decision, and people tend to extrapolate their own experience too much. Let me reassure you, though, that things change. You are going reinvent yourself at least few times in the next decade, or so.

It's very easy to get trapped into thinking that you have to come up with the right decision about your future now. You do not have. You are very lucky you face it now, not ten years later, waking up one day with a mortgage, a well paid job you hate and no time for yourself.

What is really important, though, is to avoid any actions hard or impossible to revert. Specifically, I mean things like becoming seriously addicted to hard drugs, a marriage, a mortgage or a child (and, if you care, everyone will be better off because of a thorougful decision ;-)).

It's impossible to make an informed decision without, well, having some information. Feel free to experiment, as long as you keep in mind the previous point. Your really concious life counts only few years, and it is entirely possible that you have not experienced what you truly love, yet.

It's a cliche but try to follow your instincts, not social pressure or guilt imposed onto you. Everyone knows what is best for everyone, but, at the end of the day, no one will suffer, except potentially your family, from your depression if you decide to go against yourself. A healthly dose of egoism is healthly. You are a free man, and you can do whatever you fucking want, as long as you do not break the law.

When it comes to the drive, try to not confuse your temporary emotions and the long-term ones. Be especially warned about compensating what looks like an eternal unhappiness with other people or any substances. It ends up with junk food, drugs, and staying too long in an eventually destructive relationship.

On the other hand, do not underestimate what I call the instincts, the drive or the things you love. They sound naively, but are pretty powerful. After all, your days are already counted so it makes no sense to waste them because of being afraid not to.

Don't use the inevitable as an excuse. The future is going to surprise you. No one knows what is going to happen in next three, five or ten years. I mean, a decade ago the Internet was nearly non-existent, and journalism was considered a reasonable career. It gets even more puzzling on a microscale, like hurting other people with not meeting their expectations might be exacerbated.

And, with all that praise of listening only to yourself, be a good human being.

I would add to the list of "things to avoid" (hard drugs, marriage, mortgage, child): spending weekday time in front of movies/games.

Use your productive time on something that you can be proud of or that will create lasting memories. Save recreational activities to do with friends on the weekend - just like sex the novelty will wear off, and they just aren't as fun solo.

Sit on your idea for a few days. Decide with a clear heart (and intellect too).