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Didn't realize this was a joke. I was scratching my head, "There are engineering problems that intentionally aim to slow performance? Because if so all they have to do is just hire me..."

Some hash functions do this, e.g. bcrypt and scrypt. Theoretically, their output is no more secure than faster algorithms like SHA; but it's less practical to brute-force lots of guesses.

Hashcash (as found in Bitcoin) is another example, albeit more egregious.

The keyboard layout (inherited form the typewriters) comes to mind.

"QWERTY was designed to slow typists down" appears to be somewhat disputed claim, at least going by Google results. There are a few articles [0, 1] based on a paper [2] saying that the design was more due to feedback from telegraph operators rather than anything to do with typewriter mechanics.

On the other hand, if you subscribe to the "reduced jams" view, then that would arguably have the effect of speeding up typing due to having to deal with jams less frequently.

[0]: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/fact-of-fiction-...

[1]: https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2013/05/the-l...

[2]: http://kanji.zinbun.kyoto-u.ac.jp/~yasuoka/publications/PreQ...

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