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An Open Letter To LulzSec (pastebin.com)
140 points by peterwwillis on June 17, 2011 | hide | past | web | favorite | 50 comments

I wonder if this is jedburg of reddit. I only say because he said "reigned" in his goodbye post today, and this pastebin said "reigned" too, when they both meant "reined". Also the writing is very similar. Similar number of sentences (48 vs. 54) and words per sentence (15 vs. 12) too. Maybe I'm just being paranoid, or it's a glitch in the matrix.

I'd be looking for the same grammatical errors etc appearing in both documents if your trying to see if it's the same person.

Agreed. Its best if your looking for they're bad grammar.

Funny, but downvoted.

I don't now whether your being sirius!

W̰̬̦͉̻̭e̘̻͚̳͖'̫̻̞̞̭l̠̥̲̗͚̻̗̝l͓̙̺̫͙̫̲ ͓n͖̳̥͍e͚̙̗̺v̭̼͓̗̭͙̦e̟̱͇͓͙͇r̘̙̥̘̤ ͕r̪̣̩̺̻͇͎ͅe̗̞̺a̻͚l̻̩͉͕͉̝ͅl̺y͍̭̰͍ ̺̱̗̟̝̥k͍͎̺̖̤n̳̰̰͔̩̯̥̻̼o̱ͅw̭͓̦͓͈͇͈̤͖.͙̮̳̖̞̱̹͙ ͕̝̤̹Y͎o̭̜u̮̖̩̳̤ ͖̳̭̼̦͍c̪̰͈̞a̘̜̠̗̘̥ͅn̟̤̫͉̰̟ͅ ̳͈̰̗̳̩̘͓̥n̲̤̙̙͕̖͖͕e͕v͈e̦̹͖r̭͙̘̺͉̥ͅ ̫̘̳̹̰͙r̹̳̬̳̞ͅͅe͚̞̺̺̠̤̝̳͚a̞̭̫̲͎͕̭l̼̮̭̳̩l̙̰̣̘̯̩͖̰y̦̰͕̬̲̘̰̻ ̰k͎͎n͖̤̗̬͙̠̥̦ͅo̪͔͙̯̹͓w͈̱̭ ͍͈̠̞̣̰ͅw̼̳͍͉͓̼̫h͍̟̬̟̱a͎͉͔̘̝̫̤̖ͅṯ̥͓̲̜̩̗̼'̩͎̣s̠͍̳̫͈̺͖̠ ̦̮͔͙͇̣̘g̜̰̻o̩̭i͚̯ṉ̝̻̹̫̗̹̖̗g̲͔͍͈̦ ̗̝̼̪̦̖o͉͈͇͓̯̗̥̥̼ṋ̘̮̠̠̹̝ͅ ͍͙̹̦̙̬b̻̦͎̭͈e̼͕̣̠̩̮̟h̠̩̝̮̗i͍ṋ̭̙̻d͇͕ ̩̯͎͚͇̘t͇̤̗̱͓̰h̼ẹ̫̩ ̮̦͎͔͚c͉͙͔̝̹ͅu̦̙̰̟͙̼r͔̪̱͍̞͈͇t̥͕̖̬̟̘͍a̖͔̹i̺̦n͔͍͉̥͇̜.̭̙̩̪͙̹̦

What are those crazy characters under your comment?

Zalgo Text (example generator: http://www.eeemo.net/ - page contains minor profanity).

I thought it was a video card issue! I even refreshed the page. Tsc, tsc...

An Open Letter to LulzSec

1. Dear Boys and Girls,

2. Do you remember what it was like when the bullies picked on you and your friends during lunch in the canteen? Broke your spectacles, stuck their filthy fingers in your food?

3. Do you remember what it was like before you really discovered the internets? The lonely empty darkness inside you that matched the lonely darkness that surrounded you?

4. Do you remember how you felt when the cool kids had fun stuff to do of an evening and all you had was a night of MMOs and online chat?

5. Do you remember thinking that you and your brain were capable of big things. Great things. Terrible things and the world would be sorry for underestimating you?

6. Do you remember a life before Lulz?

7. I'm guessing you do. I'm guessing it wasn't that long ago. I'm guessing that you are still stinging.

8. Then the lulz began.

9. We have to admit that when you were picking on the internets's big kids we had a moment of guilty lulz. When it looked like you were teaching them an important lesson we lulled along. But you changed.

10. Just because you have a pain inside doesn't mean that you you should inflict pain. Just because the big kids shit on you doesn't mean you should shit on the little kids.

11. The power has infected your young head, Child. You've gone to the Dark Side.

12. But. Wait. Shhh! Baby. It's OK. I promise.

13. The big, real world it full of lulz. Real lulz. The kind of amazing lulz that you can touch. Lulz you can taste and smell. Warm lulz, soft lulz. Hard lulz.

14. You have a big brain in your young head. A brain capable of good things, clever things, important things. Once you discover the power of real lulz you will soon put this behind you.

15. But do it fast before the bullies return and your life returns to being nothing more than a high-school cafeteria on repeat loop for 2-4 years with good behaviour.

16. The lulz aren't worth it.

17. Yours, Concerned.

All that 'lulzspeak' in there sounds like an old guy trying to be 'hip' when talking to younger people.

Only if we operate under the assumption that lulzsec is a group of younger people and not older guy(s) also trying to sound 'hip.'

Just using the word hip dates you.

Perfect example of how the web masks age: I'm 21.

Am I mistaken, or is he making the "get a life" argument, classic of seventh graders?

Read it. Again. In it's entirety.

All will be revealed.

Some of their recent hacks were _not_ kiddie stuff. I don't think they will be very impressed by this letter.

Also: I wouldn't bet on them being autistic nolifers, which is what the author of this letter seems to be suggesting, you'd probably be surprised.

What attack have they performed that wasn't from an OWASP manual? Not counting using a botnet.

sqli's are pretty much the current definition of skiddie. You don't even need to look for them or work them by hand, they have automated tools for that.

Can you expand on what kind of methods they employ, or the barriers they had to overcome with their targets?

Getting the machines to DDOS everyone took a while.

Given that I frequently hear about renting botnets, that's not necessarily the case - to acquire a botnet, one does not have to go out and compromise a bunch of computers. Of course, your phrasing suggests that you are presenting yourself as a primary source, as if you were a member of LulzSec speaking from experience. If that's the case, disregard this comment.

That was pure sarcasm, in reference to the OP's statement that "their recent hacks were _not_ kiddie stuff". Most of the crap they pulled last week were merely DDOS attacks, where the only real coordination required is getting everyone on an IRC channel at the same time to hit a button when someone says "Go".

You may not have a proper conception for how anon uses DDOS. A single hacker may DDOS via creating a botnet of zombie computers infected via worm, trojan, or virus. However, anon just uses "LOIC", which is a client that people who want to participate in the DDOS run. There's a call for DDOS of a target, people run their DDOS clients and set the target, there's not necessarily any "hacking" going on whatsoever.

This isn't anon; these guys don't have a posse.

'It's not what you do it's who you are'?

I would like to politely disagree.

(I feel like I need to clarify something after upvoting this.)

You're right, the "it's who you are that matters" card spells out resigned bullshit about most of the times someone plays it.

But it's not what they do that matters either: like the author of the article said himself, what they're doing is mostly kiddie stuff. Using well-known tools and techniques to goof around with well-documented security flaw 'patterns'.

And so they're not crafting anything either, they're just wasting humanity's bandwidth. In that sense I agree with you.

Agreed: what you do largely shapes who you are. Or who you are greatly influences what you do. Or both. Or something.

I agree with the sentiment of the letter. I used to participate in Internet subculture type stuff for years (nothing really illegal though), and eventually I got bored of it. I wouldn't really say that I regret anything, but I wouldn't want it to come back and bite me (I probably shouldn't run for President).

They're really just a kiddie version of Anonymous/Wikileaks. Hopefully they'll move on to more meaningful hacking (either definition of the term) before they get thrown in prison, but there will always be someone to take up the lulz mantle.

And yeah, DDoSes aren't really brag-worthy anymore. Getting thrown in prison for a worthy social cause, doing something mind-blowingly awesome, or hacking capitalism and making yourself rich legitimately are way more impressive.

"If you want a truly righteous hack..."

I was so hoping for a "you should score one of those Gibsons."

LOL that's what I was expecting too.

I was expecting a rickroll there at the end... Fresh prince - close enough.

The least he could have done is get the song right though.

Maybe getting the song wrong was a metatroll?

The only real amusement I get from trolling is when people discuss it afterwards and start trying to dissect it you get to meta-trolling, then meta on meta, trollers trolling each other, meta-trolling each other, etc. It's turtles all the way down and at the bottom there's a huge ocean of words that has lost all their meaning.

It amazes me that they can muster the energy to even bother.

I don't get it... why does a Fresh Prince reference make him a troll?

It's a practice that I assume started on 4chan where you get roped in to a serious sounding story only to have fresh prince lyrics busted out at the end. The story is always made up in these cases. It's kind of the rick rolling of wall of texts as in that if you'd never heard of it and saw a link like that you might assume it was a mistake or just random but of course it isn't.

“But men at whiles are sober / And think by fits and starts, / And if they think, they fasten / Their hands upon their hearts.” --A E Housman

Who in the fuck downvoted this?!

Thanks, I was afraid that very few got the message. It's been one of the more powerful quotes I've come upon in my life. So many of us, virtually all of us at times, try to get ourselves so wrapped up in whatever it is that keeps us distracted, but, as the quote communicates, the deeper issues at some point or another enter into everyone's mind, even those who try the hardest to proverbally 'stay drunk.'

At some point the seriousness of this life hits us all. I've had the best luck when I've faced it head on. When I can be not merely self critical but act on that criticism. When I confront my own ignorance and nothingness then I'm far less likely to squander my time/life and for more likely to remember to respect and revere others and their rights and claims to the chaos, confusion and wonder that is this life.

This guy lost me when he said, "I know it sounds pretty faggy".

Not really interested in someone who's supposedly lecturing LulzSec from a position of vastly greater maturity and life experience, but still hasn't outgrown 12-year-old homophobe-speak. At all.

I think that was simply "/b/" talk, not homophobic as such.

newfag, oldfag, moralfag; it's all just 4chan lingo. The author's just trying to sound hip, IMO.

Spoken like a true troll...

A masterclass. Be sure to read until the end.

Well played, anonymous poster.

Read the last sentence. This was a pretty good troll - I know I found myself agreeing with him, nodding my head a bit. Then I saw the last sentence and had to laugh at myself for falling for it.

I interpreted the last sentence as yet another meme mention, meant to indicate that the author was part of the same subculture as lulzsec - the 4chan/Anonymous culture. I don't think it was intended to mean the message isn't being offered sincerely.

I think it's both, and you're making excuses for getting Bel Air'd. :P

But does that mean he didn't really mean any of what he said?

Sorry, this is made of so much fail.

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