> I run cycles of listening, paraphrasing and then solutionizing almost every day. This doesn't translate well in friendships & relationships where the other person just wants someone to listen.
One thing that greatly helped me was realizing that listening itself oftentimes is the solution, rather than thinking of problem-solving and listening as completely separate. (Paraphrasing can help the other person feel heard. If you're already paraphrasing, then maybe add a pause here to gauge how the other person has reacted to just being heard.)
Another was learning to ask whether the other person wanted advice, perspective, and/or feedback instead of automatically offering it.
One thing that greatly helped me was realizing that listening itself oftentimes is the solution, rather than thinking of problem-solving and listening as completely separate. (Paraphrasing can help the other person feel heard. If you're already paraphrasing, then maybe add a pause here to gauge how the other person has reacted to just being heard.)
Another was learning to ask whether the other person wanted advice, perspective, and/or feedback instead of automatically offering it.