I commenced my policy of non-contact / NC and it's been the most
peaceful five years I've ever had. Here is my advice based on
my own experience:
1. If you still live with them, move ASAP with the shirt on your
2. All communications with them shall be written via email, and
don't tell them where you live, where you work, your bank
balance, who you're dating, etc. Every piece of information
will be used against you.
3. Get some therapy and start your recovery process.
Here's some things I would go back in time and tell my younger self:
You're never going to change them.
You are not responsible for their mental health or emotional state.
Don't bother trying to reason with them, they are irrational.
Don't try to earn their respect, you never will.
Don't agree to their assessment of your capabilities.
Don't tell them how much money you make.
Don't tell them how much money you have.
Don't tell them where you work.
You will not get them to be accountable for their actions,
it's useless to try.
Don't wish them happy birthday, don't have dinner with them, don't
show, call or send a card for any holiday, christmas, hanukkah,
thanksgiving. Don't do it. It's a trap.
Remove the emotion from it. It's not out of spite, anger or
vengeance -- it's for your health. You are not a petty person, this was
in the works for a long time. It's like going for a jog in the morning.
It's what you need to do to stay mentally, emotionally fit in your life.
Don't blame yourself, this is a logical consequence of your
nparents actions. People around you might not understand and that's
okay. The time to leave and break contact is right now.
Retake agency in your life.
Good luck everyone!