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I don't remember ever hating my parents, but I did resent them for several years, sometimes not contacting them for months.

I think it is an unhealthy and unhelpful thought pattern, one which can transfer easily from person to person.

I don't think it ever helps anyone. And I think it is a coward's pursuit, because most parents will not try to hurt you back, even if you hurt them. And hurt them you will, because it hurts to hear your own child speak against you.

All of our parents have done something that hurt us as children, and most of our parents have done much, much more trying to do good, despite the odds being stacked against them. As a parent, ancestral customs, societal pressures, and entropy are all fighting against you, trying to kill, maim, harm your child, and it's all you can do is sweat working against all that shit at once, while at the same time, behind you, trying to create a positive, happy experience for your child.

I think it is a symptom of how spoiled we are by our society with space and resources, because most people in the past had no choice but to live with their parents and get along with them.

I like what Joseph Brodsky has to say on the matter: “Parents are too close a target… The range is such that you can’t miss.” Be generous with your family. Even if your convictions clash with theirs, don’t reject them—your skepticism of your infallibility can only benefit you. It will also save you a good deal of grief when they are gone.




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