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Why do you think that others should adjust to the way you live? Surely kids are a choice. And if you choose kids of career thrn you're bound to be less effective than someone who chose otherwise?

What if I have kids but am a much better coder than you?

What then?

Plural of anecdote is not data. The principle that "the more work you put into something, the better you get at it" works in general.

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