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Lots of things matter but nothing matters without relationships.



highly relevant: M. Scott Peck "The Road less Traveled", in a nutshell the relationship to ourselves is what gives us the ability to be in a fulfilling relationship with others. I wanted to emphasize this because too many I know (including my former self) would rather be with somebody else ("to fulfill them or -worse- "make them complete") than develop a good relationship with our "self" first.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M._Scott_Peck#The_Road_Less_Tr...


Some nearby introverts quietly disagree then dream of hiking in the mountains in nature. I guess that's a relationship of sorts.


I've never really liked platitudes like "family is everything" and "nothing matters without relationships" -- they don't seem to come from a good place. People who lack these things may enjoy their lives every bit as much, what's the point of denigrating their life?


Every time it is me that ends up losing interest in the people around me. At some point I decided to recognize that if I was not going to put in the effort to build relationships then there was no sense in putting myself down for not having them built up later. But at the same time when I meet new people, no matter how many things we both like, if they are not purposefully inviting me over then I will stop caring about them and return to having no friendships again. That is entirely on me.

It isn't like they are bad people, but there are other things I will inevitably end up gravitating to instead.

But it isn't like I'm alone because I have other things to occupy my time. There are times that I did wish I had other friendships but I end up putting those feelings aside when I start working on something. For better or worse I am lucky to be able to say this. Some artists say they can only survive and keep working by being able to be alone for extended periods of time.

When I don't get too attached to anyone the pain of losing them doesn't really come. And the people I do care about I've actually made miserable and angry by the number of times I've brought up that I am going to die someday and that I'm trying to live in the moment with them and acknowledge the transience of being alive with them. At some point continuing to acknowledge the fact that being alive and having known them is a miracle in front of them is counterproductive, and in the end it probably doesn't make dying any less painful.

After doing all that I don't understand what else I can possibly do but continue being alive.


Likely projecting their own existential fear of loneliness. Fear is not a good place


I think you're right - according to category theory, only relationships of the objects matter, not the objects themselves.


That's almost all of math, really


I wonder if you're joking or not.


It’s actually somewhat profound and fitting if you read it without cynicism.


It's not the idea itself which seems to me absurd, it's the process - let's take something from abstract mathematical field and apply it on a vaguely "topologically" similar subjective experience and think that "it's proven by math".


Topological similarities can be meaningful. Shape and structure are like form and function.


Topological similarities can be meaningful as in they often provide great source of inspiration.

However, it's just an inspiration and it must be proven in its newly applied field - proof in context of category theory is not valid in the context of inter-personal relations.

podgaj 20 days ago [flagged]

Sounds sociopathic....


For what it's worth, you asserted above that you are not rude, but telling a stranger they sound like a sociopath is generally considered rude. It may genuinely be that you have transcended social norms, but the rest of us haven't, and I'm afraid you're dealing with the rest of us!


Why is this considered rude instead of stating an opinion?


wow you sound like a serial killer

Perhaps that serves to illustrate why it is rude. If that doesn't help, then just remember that it is. Good manners don't always need to make sense to you, sometimes they only make sense to other people.


They aren't mutually exclusive—an expressed opinion can also be rude.




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