Maybe I've spent too much time writing one-liners in bash but I really prefer the original to yours. I can read the original much faster because it matches the pattern for how I write bash on the command line. Yours looks totally foreign to how bash is normally written. Not saying one is better than the other, just my personal preference.
I agree with you that their code is fairly dense, yours is overly verbose.
Having said that, looking at their code, I don’t get the impression they’re optimizing for LOC. There is plenty of verbosity and opportunity to remove lines of code if they wanted.
I might write that something like: