And none of these offer the ease of setup, ease of analysis, or ease of recognizing what actions to take that GA offers for $0 license and no hosting fees. These on the list are all admirable (esp. Snowplow) but all assume savvy users to be able to get things that are out-of-box with GA.
Piwik, GoatCounter, GoAccess, Open Web Analytics, clicky, Snowplow, Gauges, etc.
The correct solution is to self-host all analytics involving data that can be used to identify, track, or analyze individuals.