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Inlu.st - new dating startup (inlu.st)
37 points by tibbon on Feb 9, 2011 | hide | past | favorite | 67 comments



> she was known among her friends for her ability to meet guys online.

No offense, Julia, but that's not much of an ability if you are a woman.


Online dating is harder than you think for women also. If you stick with the mainstream sites you lose interest VERY quickly with the unwelcome attention. So if Julia has spent a lot of time and energy in this area she'll be an expert in how to create a site that works, and keeps women interested. This is a prime example where we need more women in tech - to build these subtle tools with direct insight for the target market.


As you can read from my reply below, I don't disagree. I only highlighted how that sentence wasn't conveying what she probably meant to say.

Online dating is hard for both genders, but in women's case what's hard is screening the candidates, rather than a lack of them. So yes, women entrepreneurs may have better insight on how to make this screening process as easy on them as possible.


Right on. Its not hard to meet random people, but its very hard to meet awesome people that you actually feel like spending time around.


that's because 'online' doesn't do much selective filtering. Lets say you go the symphony (of the orchestral type, not the framework) and meet some boys. You are selecting, let's say you go a coffee shop in the Mission, or Lower Haight, again you are selecting. Sitting in Dolores park on a sunny sunday afternoon automatically selects certain demographics. When you look for boys or girls online you use primitive criteria for selection which results in poor matching. Facebook is a much better dating site because groups are more organic, formed by real people coming together around common values.

I am rather surprised that Julia has any problems meeting boys, I'm sure she could just sit in a coffee shop in the Mission with a laptop (preferably with a few stickers, including the obligatory CC) and be approached by decent young men all day.


i don't have a problem meeting guys. i have a problem meeting guys that i feel any lust for. that's a big problem among the people i know who are looking for lovers on- and offline.

however, i hear the odds are much better for single women in SF than NYC. so if this site doesn't work out for me, i know where i'm moving next..


>be approached by decent young men all day

I wish! I am in cafe right now surrounded by decent young men and all we do is glance at each other's laptops and smartphones.


So why don't you approach?


Oh, believe me I have done. It got tiring being the instigator and I made a promise to myself to let the guys do the approaching for a while. (Someone did and now we're in a happy relationship).


thanks for the feedback; I really wasn't sure how that would come across to random strangers.

TBH, it is kind of hard for me to meet people online now. sure, i could go on OKC and find a hundred dates tonight, but most likely feel no emotional connection to those people. i'm trying to capture the vulnerable spirit of my early years on the web and create an environment where people who can actually connect with each other.


What you are trying to do is admirable, and I understood what you meant with that original line. It didn't however convey what you probably meant.

I would write something along the lines of, "she was known among her friends for her ability to meet great guys online with which she developed deep emotional connections".

Or something like that. You are now qualifying that you had the ability to find the right type of guy online, as opposed to just a random guy. Because as a woman, it doesn't take skill to do the latter.

If I can provide some further feedback, I would truly reconsider the name. Your initial crowd will no doubt be geeky. The word "lust" tend to intimidate women, and even shy men in my opinion. It also fails at conveying that it's a place to "find friends" or to "connect with each other".

Right now the name and your "lusty" design, would be perfect for a site for random hook-ups. I see a major gap between what you are trying to do and what you have so far.


excellent feedback; i'll definitely qualify that line with something more meaningful.

as for the name, i'm actually specifically not going after a geeky crowd (which is why my heart kinda fell out of my chest when i saw it was submitted to HN) and am initially going for younger, artistic, NYC singles. the name is designed to attract the kind of people i want on the site for now.


That sounds exactly the kind of crowd that doesn't need dating sites, especially in NY, the supposed best city for singles (http://www.forbes.com/2009/07/27/best-cities-singles-lifesty...). Any reason why you are going for that?


Best city still doesn't make it terribly easy always. Some times of year like the winter are outright unfun much of the time and meeting people online is still easier occasionally.


note that nyc is number 1 for "online dating." there is a reason for that. nyc has a lot of people in it. sifting through those people is hard.


Opps :) Whenever I see something neat that a friend is doing my first instinct is to spread it like wildfire.


Yeah, this will immediately turn me off the site because I can only assume girls are going to read this and feel that it's condescending to them.


I'm the founder of the site, and just want to point out that the submitter submitted the about page, which is not at all supposed to be the focus of the site. Please click the logo for the front page.


I prognosticate that inlu.st will have an easy time attracting at least one of the two sexes as users.

Now, which one will that be? Hmmm..


hi, i'm the founder of this site and am actually quite curious what you mean by this. do you think the feminine design will scare men away? or do you think the name will scare women away?


It will aways be harder to attract/keep women on a dating site than it will be to attract/keep men. That is why almost ALL advertising for dating sites on TV is targeted at women, IMO.

Further, if you start with a domain like inlu.st, you are eliminating the % of women that actually care about long term relationships over one night stands. That is a very large %.

Just my opinion. I have no data for you.


Ah yes. I'm not particularly going after LTR-seekers right now. Of course, this might change in time, and I suspect the name might have to change in that case.


Why not specialized frontends on a common backend? Common accounts for "inlu.st" and "solone.ly" or something, but with ability for activating/deactivating visibility on some domains.

I think that both the and community requirements can be very different for casual contact and ltrs, but there will be some natural mobility between those.


Personally I'd guess at the name scaring women away.

However I wouldn't necessarily trust my intuition and would prefer testing it.


This may be a very profitable if targeted on gay audience. Nice layout, some extra features and boom, lots of users...


It sounds a lot like Craigslist's "casual encounters". Which was successful enough, but still.


I love the concept, but I would consider re-branding before you launch. This domain name and the keyword 'lust' has a negative connotation as related to relationships. At first glance, the site will be perceived as another "hook up" social network. After reading your site, I don't believe that is your primary aim. Also, a domain hack isn't user-friendly.

Consider a creative two-word .Com domain. If you need assistance or available domain suggestions, please feel free to get in touch.


> cultivating a community where next-level singles can connect intellectually, emotionally, and physically.

What differentiates a single person from a next-level single person? Or a date from a next-level date (I'm seeing a lot of 'next-level' throughout body copy). Barring a pre-selection/approval process for users, I'm assuming all people will be equally able to sign up and take part in the website, making the pool as "current level" as other dating sites.


Edit: that's not the homepage.

Since I recently saw "The Social Network", its got me thinking that what dating sites are missing is exclusivity... isn't that why Facebook took off? ...because you were guaranteed that the members went to Harvard? Maybe a similar approach with dating sites is worth trying.


that's not the home page. you are looking at the about page. click the logo.


Interesting, you guys could be a competitor for us, but I can't quite tell yet. In lust implies a strong sex focus but the phrasing on the site indicates dating. I'm curious to see where you guys end up going with this.

http://www.heyfoxy.com


cool, i haven't heard of heyfoxy, but i love the image on the front page. i'll check it out. there is a focus on sexuality, but it is not a hookup site anymore than reddit or tumblr are hookup sites. i don't see us as competitors, i see us as friends!


Awesome, I'm really excited to see what you guys come up with. Also, I'd definitely be interested in trading some guest blog posts at some point. On the off chance that you're NYC based as well we should totally grab drinks and talk shop sometime.

And the pic on the front is my girl and I. Glad you like it :)


actually, i am in nyc! drinks sometime would be excellent - drop me an email at my HN username @gmail.

i checked out your blog and we definitely share a lot of the same ideals about sex- very cool. as a heads up, your blog's RSS feed is broken right now.


Will I need abs like yours to sign up for the site? Mine are bit more... spongy.


Ha! No, there's no ab requirement ;)


I find listing John Resig as ex-boyfriend kinda cool for a geek girl. I wish I could list Julia West as an ex-girlfriend for my next startup :) Would it kind of make me and Resig related? (Transitively speaking http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transitive_relation)

Anyhow, the website seems promising and I'm looking forward to see the "killer" feature that would make it different from other dating sites.

As a side note, I had an original idea for matching people that could be used for facebook. I talked about it with friends and they pretty much like it. So, if you're interested just get in touch with me and I will tell you.


The transitive relationship questions do make for some interesting conversations in dating. Things get even worse (or better?) when your social/dating network is really tight.


From reading the intro text, this is not for people looking for serious relations (you shouldn't be looking for a soulmate). This is just for meeting new people and one-night stands? What problem does it solve and how?


The same one that Grindr and ManHunt do in the gay community. Finding people who aren't looking for a LTR can be tricky among heterosexuals.


When I see something like this, I have to ask:

Whats different about inlu.st and match.com/chemistry.com/$datingSite?

And how are you going to attract users (especially female users, because the men go where the females go)? There is really nothing sadder than an empty dating site.


while i'm not ready to get into the details of what sets us apart, i wrote a bit here http://blog.inlu.st/post/3198840889/introducing-inlust divulging the reason for the site and spirit behind it.


So, what makes this site stand apart from its competitors?


"Secret email"?

Is meant to be a "cheating" dating site or regular?


definitely not a cheating site. 'secret' was just supposed to mean i'm not gonna give it away.


I was slightly confused by myself with this too. I'd put a star beside email instead and put *we keep your email secret. For a moment it made me wonder if the email address would be listed to the public or something non-anonymous.


That's not really clear; it should be better stated.


I love (er.. lust) the name. Any reason why you're not collecting email addresses? Having an email list you can blast out to on launch day will help you reach critical mass quicker, avoiding the chicken and egg issue all together.


i am collecting them on the front page, so please put your email address there :) the submitter submitted the about page.


Hi, it's not intuitive to know to click on the logo to go back. Maybe you could add a link at the top saying something like 'Click here to go to front page and submit your email for early access'. Another girl here - though I'm in a relationship it's an interesting problem to solve and I'm curious to see what you've come up with.


i think that if you entered the site on the homepage, as intended, and then went to the about page, it would be pretty obv how to get back.

thanks for your comments on this thread! you seem to understand the female online dating problem as i do, and it's nice to have another female backing me up on here.


Hey, you're welcome. If you're coming from a background similar to mine (which it seems from the info on your blog), you're part of your own sub-culture that is reflective of your target market so I'm sure you're getting great feedback from other sources.


Not to thread high jack, but people are already asking how are you going to be different than the thousand other dating sites?

My Dating Site Idea:

A marriage between boutique clothing stores with a dating platform.

Make a list of the top 20 boutique stores in your city. Talk to the owners until you find a receptive audience. Try to get some male fashion stores as well.

You can coerce people at the stores with discounts to register to get it started (just need a camera and a laptop, good lighting, and a backdrop with logo on it).

Validated Profiles (aka. Real People) - Must try on/buy an outfit from the store and wear it on the photo to be able to use all of features of the site (look but don't touch model).

The pictures are tagged with the store and outfits that were purchased, so I can look at your profile and buy your outfit (or part of it).

It's kind of exclusive (no ugly people... well no ugly clothes anyway) and you can make money selling clothes.


Tiny design thing: your background image doesn't match the background color. Seems to be a color profile issue. Doing a "Save for Web" in Photoshop should fix it.


The about page states "dating in new york city" in the title, is it only for NYC (initially)?


The page looks great, and I really like the way it tells the stories of how the founders met.


Inlu.st...

In Luv? Insult? Oh! In lust!


personally, i'm a fan of in slut.


That's a great tech dating resumé!


is this an application? what is this?


To get to the (pre-) application, you have to click on "InLust" at the top left. It admittedly took me a few moments to discover this, it wasn't very obvious.


it is a dating community that will launch next month.


the name is pretty bad...


I'm male and not all that traditional, but the name is very conspicuous. I can only imagine the name making it even harder than usual to attract women.

The commentary about her personal life is...awkward.

Neat as it is that she dated the patron saint of modern JavaScript, I don't think that's going to help me get a date.

The geek content just makes me even more skeptical about bringing women and keeping them engaged, if it's any indicator of the greater aesthetic to the site.

That said, I hope it goes great and I wish you the best of luck. The world needs better dating sites.

Cheers.


>The commentary about her personal life is...awkward.

I disagree. As a woman who has previously dated via many online/offline means it's refreshing to see an honesty from a real woman about a topic that has too long been dominated by the 'let's get you married' dating sites (okcupid aside). If I were dating I'd be happy to invest some time in the site to see how it works.


You're an outlier that is comfortable with the internet and open to connecting with a company at a personal level.

Most people seek a professional, stable, and safe image in a company they're going to share their personal details with. Misplaced commentary about the founder's personal life is one of those 'split' decisions where it'll make 5-10% of women love her, and the other 90%++ will get scared off.

Like OKCupid, I'm sure she'll have a passionate userbase if she continues to be personable and connect with people, but the awkwardness and lack of women will drive many away.


How will you compete with okcupid, plentyoffish, match, chemistry, eharmony, adultfriendfinder, lavalife, perfectmatch, jdate, ashleymadison, wealthymen, mate1, singlesnet, date.com, americansingles, passion.com, singles.com and a million other dating sites?




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