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https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Lif...

Nonviolent Communication.

I think it was linked on HN where it caught my attention. This book teaches a great way to communicate, but for me, it has also helped me think about my feelings and how I can communicate those feelings better. I feel more in touch with my feelings and more empathetic as a direct result from following what the book is teaching.

On the communication side, it has helped me put more structure around tough conversations, personally and professionally. It has helped me understand others more and vice versa. It's also helped me see toxic traits in others. Such as people who aren't interested in understanding or people who struggle to understand their own emotions.




I'm not sure you need to read the whole book to get value out of it. I'm not knocking the idea of NVC, I think it's helpful, however, reading the book it seemed like the author took a great article/blog post and turned it into a meandering book to jack up his speaking fees.

You can save yourself the time/money and just read the Wikipedia page - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication


I disagree. There are a lot of books (especially self-help books) that I feel that way about. I think every chapter in this book is worthwhile, and I plan on re-reading it at least once.


He's not everybody's cup of tea, but I don't get the sense at all that Marshall Rosenberg was in it for the money.


This book has also helped me connect better with others and accomplish what I think needs to be accomplished.

It almost feels like magic how effective it is as it seems to sort of ballet step away and around from conflict. I usually don’t care about conflict so it’s nice to just sort of leave behind all the distractions that come when people focus on the wrong parts of communication.

A recent example where this helped me...I was trying to figure out what tasks needed to be done to launch a product. At first I asked the project manager what tasks he defined and he started getting very defensive because perhaps I thought he sucked at his job. Just by rephrasing that I was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to contribute to things that needed to happen and that I wanted to know what steps needed to be taken, the pm opened up. I felt like the book saved me 30 minutes of pointless arguing.


I feel compelled to restate how wonderful this book is.

> it has also helped me think about my feelings

The book focuses on communication with others, but effectively fosters constructive inner dialogue as well. I know of at least one other person who claimed it helped them avoid destructive habits.

> it has helped me put more structure around tough conversations

I deescalated a nasty dispute between two people close to me after reading only the first few chapters. I was impressed because I wasn't the type of person to emotionally connect with people so effectively.

I believe the world would be a better place if more people read this book.


The co-author of this book is (seems to be) Deepak Chopra who acquired quite a fame for his liberal use of quantum physics terminology (quantum woo-woo) and for producing thoughts and ideas which typically turn out be not very coherent under a closer scrutiny (https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Deepak_Chopra), i.e. for "sounding deep while saying nothing"

I wonder how his co-authorship affects contents of the book. I bought the book (b/c of this thread, not even looking at the authorship), and I will judge the book based on its contents, but suporting financially a de-facto cult leader of a not very rational movement doesn't sound like a good move from my perspective.


“Foreword by Deepak Chopra” is hardly co-authoring.


The amazon book page is confusing, it lists him as a co-author. The book's cover says it's just a foreword, so I guess you're right.

Still, not to surrender in this thread completely, letting such type of person to write a foreword for a book is not a very good initial signal in itself - it casts doubt on the main author's judgement with regard to whom she considers an authority in matters of communication (or, in any matter other than producing confusing statements).


I haven't looked too closely, but the author was already dead by the time this edition came out so it's quite possible he had no say in the matter.


That's standard practice for Amazon (the author of the introduction being listed as an author of the book). It's confusing and annoying.


I can't stand books that "sound deep while saying nothing". This book definitely does not fall into that category. It's one of the books (if not the book) that has had the biggest impact on my life since reading it. It's like a more modern How to Win Friends and Influence People.

In a different version of the book than the one you mentioned, the forward is written by Mahatma Gandhi's grandson. That forward is also very worth reading.


Thanks for mentioning this. I don't go near anything that guy touches. Will be skipping this book.


He was added as a foreword author after the main author had already died, just FYI.


I recently purchased Say What You Mean which is about Nonviolent Communication and Mindfulness. I’ve only read the introduction but it really resonates with me.

Actually connecting with people rather than just talking past them and having them talk past me is something that I find very appealing at this point in life after realizing how much people seem to ignore what I am actually saying (and realizing I am almost certainly doing the same to them).


[deleted]



Is a link to an earlier comment okay?


For sure.




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