... this is amazing.
I hope these weren't related
Gavin Belson - hit me up, this is the perfect acquisition for Hooli.
PS - you can follow Parrot.vc on Twitter as well (https://twitter.com/parrot_vc)
 - https://github.com/jsvine/markovify
"This has been known for 10 years, this is not a new discovery"
"Title is clickbait, can someone please update it?"
If this isn't the best sign of the times, idk what is.
Edit: This one killed me
"VC is hard. This is a great fucking deck..."
There's almost no detail or focus on a concrete idea in any of these VC tweets. Everything is so damn vague and abstract in the original tweets, they can apply to anything or anyone. Thus, chopping and mixing them is meaningless, because they are void of meaning to begin with... Sort of the same way horoscopes work. They're pretty broad and the reader fills in the gaps and details. VCs talk like old gypsy fortune tellers... they're vague, tell you roughly what you'd like to hear and are generally useless sacks of breathing meat...
Damn, that was a wild ride...
Only a rare few treat their portfolio companies as customers and not the product.
Honesty isn't usually inspiring.
For that reason, I've avoided them. Even during parties, I (unfairly) dismiss someone the moment I find out they are a VC and just invested in ...(insert famous tech here)...
Based on personal experience, VCs are statistically more likely having a conversation with you thinking they are better than you the whole time (and therefore knows better).
Not all VCs are like that, but unfortunately most of them are. Greedy, prideful people have caused me a great deal of suffering in my life and most VCs are just that.
Are you seriously defending the money-people? Just give us this one moment where noone chimes in to teach us how greed supposedly helped turn savages into society
Do people really think like that? This sounds like possibly a personal insecurity. I don’t know too many grown adults who think things like “I am better than you”. Better at what? making money? Smarter? Getting dates?
I don’t know... maybe I’m just too optimistic but all of the VCs I’ve met have been super nice.
I mean, some people think that VCs are "useless sacks of breathing meat". So when the VC in question needs to feel a sense of self worth, they need to come up with a reason that they are needed in the equation (whether justified or not). They also need to project that feeling because who will seek out a VC that's a useless sack of breathing meat. You want to seek out a VC that's the gatekeeper to riches.
You get this kind of sub-vocal interplay and posturing. I'm sure it's super stressful to the people in question. Every time they meet someone they may feel they have to justify their progression beyond meat sack level. They may feel that they have to justify it to themselves.
And interestingly, having projected their desired ego and internally swallowed their own special brand of Kool Aide, quite a few are actually convinced that they are the gatekeepers to riches and everybody else is lucky just to be in the same room.
Being human is hard.
Yes. If you're pitching to a VC, they have power over you. It leads them to believe they deserve that power and that they understand your business (and all business) better than you.
That doesn't mean they're not nice. Feeling superior and behaving pleasantly are not mutually exclusive.
The alternative being that you happen to be in an environment/bubble where no one happens to think like that. I guess it's possible, but also unlikely.
I know people who receive and value advice from VCs, but my observation has been that it's better to trust your boots on the ground rather than a very-part-time observer who's never talked to one of your clients.
- have never personally taken a company from zero to one (even worse: when they have internally taken a company from 1 to N, and think that qualifies them).
- have a huge portfolio full of incremental companies
- constantly talk about trends on Twitter
- constantly talk about politics on Twitter
- are not currently operating their own moonshot/Unicorn
- are a bit too ridiculous when trying to hide their own greed
- talk constantly about the importance of "mentoring" you, when really just wanting access to your company
- have never actually taken a hard stand/risk on anything in their entire lives
Imagine instead getting a small check from Elon Musk when he was operating at Tesla/SpaceX, or even from then-no-name Sam Altman when he was running Loopt (as Stripe did from both). These investors are great because you know they're going to soon step the fuck out of your way and focus on their own projects. They might also be able to actually help you when you need it (both parties respecting each other's scarce time).
* Exceptions: PG, Naval, and part-time VC partners that actively operate their own companies.
I've met quite a few angels and VCs who have exactly one successful exit on their resume. Without more exits, the overwhelming likelihood is that the exit was luck.
Like most humans, they fail to see the luck in their success and believe they know something about business that other people don't. They rely heavily on their experience and push their portfolio companies to make the same decisions they made.
It's possible there's no formula for a great VC, and incentive structures make it unlikely that talented, visionary, humble people are in that role. If you know how to build things, why be a VC instead of building things?
Hehe this one was pretty good.
 https://www.parrot.vc/-LuhxfJS6wU2jI7ulPj0 via @parrot_vc
This is amazing. Reminds me of the postmodernism generator: http://www.elsewhere.org/pomo/
-- wallstreetbets here I come!
Instantly reminded of all of the posts about ISPs and cellular carriers tacking on all sorts of goofy fees and their usual monetary "practices", felt it was especially relevant now that some of those fees are being exposed as being BS surcharges anyway. Can't name any sources off the top of my head but there was an article here on HN about it some months ago.
But seriously wanted to say it's pretty stellar and so far none of these seem "bot" like. They read pretty genuine... which says a lot of how idiotic a lot of these VCs are.
If you don't understand the tweets, it's because they have a deeper meaning.
... A rogue philosopher VC
“There’s nothing lean about spending 12-18 mo working hard to make a lot of money.“
But then, it have me this gem:
"It's sad when people don't understand the value of a program that targets them. I mean I do see the value, I just don't like floppy pizza."
This one is too weird.
This one is just fun
- "Sorkin is going to have a custom GIF library curated by @jposhaughnessy."
These sound like fodder for an insider trading prosecution:
- "Saved a man going into an interview with that. One of my favorite funds rn."
- "Amazing company. I was thinking more in terms of deploying, deleting, etc."
- "Canceling sneaky charges is one of the most predictable but consequential developments of the 2020s."
- "YC partners know, because they get around advertising, because a lot of material on this."
- "Could agree more. Have looked at a bunch of #rockstarninjas but ended up with a bigger bag of money they will leave you to secure the bag."
My favourite Markov chain is the one trained on Puppet documentation and the works of H.P. Lovecraft.
This one made me laugh.
> I believe that being more at peace in the present would have given me greater patience and ability to be more wordy in order to seem genuine?
A bot talking about how to seem more genuine. By being wordy, in an awkwardly long sentence. The irony burns. https://www.parrot.vc/-Lv4C1NRdxJrut8qiuK_
This is perfect.
> But the software market is about to get a lot out of drug experimentation but I would recommend those who want to work will need to work.
Seems like overfitting a bit. But it's a super funny output.
I feel like there are multiple layers to this
I've got bad news for you…
Hmm. Very interesting. Maybe we should in fact have more exceptions in the ISA and let there be more context switches to the kernel.
This one was especially rich since it points to the genrator’s oncoming sentinence
“Billionaires" has nothing to do with those who can’t graduate to higher wage jobs from that starting point.
50% of millennials want to be heard and appreciated.
(Ok, I wrote that.)
Some of this stuff is gold
- Jack Dorsey (?)
> Canceling sneaky charges is one of the most predictable but consequential developments of the 2020s.
this is pretty cool.
I even said "AI" and refreshed my bank account balance, but still nothing.
As for Microsoft, it still is dead in the sense that he articulated in that essay; it doesn't offer any novel/powerful/ubiquitous platforms that new companies could or should build new products/companies on. It barely exists as a mobile platform, nobody has built significant new companies out of Windows desktop software in years, and its cloud platform is just one of several, and far from the biggest/best. He never said it would go out of business, just that it would become a generic BigCo, which is exactly what it is.
He also built a new type of investment company that invested in Airbnb, Dropbox, Twitch, Stripe and many other new startups, before any other VC would look at them, and at a tiny fraction of the valuation that other VCs would invest at. That investment model he pioneered has since been imitated countless times around the world - unsuccessfully, in most cases, because he did such a good job that others couldn't seriously compete.
With all that said, I think there's plenty he's been wrong about, but he's been right about the most important stuff, and deserves admiration for that.
Azure is popular due to all the corporates moving their application hosting and data storage off on-premise servers to the cloud.
Neither of these products/platforms has led/is leading to whole new categories of products/companies being created, which is the specific context in which PG was suggesting MS was "dead".
FWIW, arguably the biggest game-changing innovation in gaming in the past 10 years has been Twitch, which was a YC company.
You don't need insults if you have solid points.