In the last hour a few HN threads came to my attention [0][1][2], from which it seems that the overt kind of bullying that is known from movies and television series is actually a real thing. I am talking about repeated physical abuse from peers (but if somebody has deeper insights about bullying in general, I would not mind hearing about that too), because that is the thing that I thought mainly existed on TV. If you have witnessed or, especially, suffered from bullying; I would like to read about it, at what education stage did it happen and where it happened. The last part is because my first thought about the beatings being real was that it is something that is exacerbated in USA schools. As for my own experience (since I am asking others about it, I feel obligated to share my own experience); I was a socially inept introverted kid with little confidence and an outsider who could not really connect with other kids (and quite an annoying little prick, as I understand now), but despite those circumstances I was not repeatedly beaten (although a troublemaking kid that was shortly in my school during the lower education stage once tried to beat me up with two other people from my class, they failed). In high school there was even less bullying. Now, I may have been lucky, it is possible that my schools were uncommonly nice ones in Croatia, and the fact that I was encouraged to stand up to beating attempts (on me or my friends) after reading the "Ender's game" (because of Ender doing the same ...); but really my understanding is that beatings do not happen in Croatian schools as described in those threads. Is it because of the Croatian nondemocratic socialist government heritage? Or is it an European thing? That is why I am asking this question. [0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21212587 [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5284664 [2] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=21447459 |
I've been bullied for a long time, and am glad that that's in the past now. I've never been physically harmed, I have no scars or hospital visits or even bruises.
I've been affected mentally though. Turns out that being told you're ugly or weird or stupid 15 times a day really takes a toll on your mental health. How are you supposed to be a normal kid if no one will even talk to you? How are you supposed to learn to socialize? How are you supposed to have a positive self-image if you get told you're shit at every turn? How are you supposed to focus on learning if people are constantly trying to get your attention just to say mean things? How are you supposed to play if everyone just runs away from you? Sure the adults tell you you're smart and beautiful and worth having around, but how believable is that when they don't lift a finger to stop the name calling? How are you supposed to lead a normal life if you're carrying all that baggage and there's no one who will help?
I've linked the "To this day project" video in the comments of HN often enough when the topic of bullying comes up. For me seeing that video was a real turning point. It was the point where I stopped believing all the things that mean little shits said about me years ago. I still cry when I listen to it every single time. So I'll link it again, in the hopes that it'll help someone else too:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltun92DfnPY
"I’m not the only kid
who grew up this way
surrounded by people who used to say
that rhyme about sticks and stones
as if broken bones
hurt more than the names we got called
and we got called them all"
-- Shane Koyczan