Hacker News new | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submit login

I’ve observed “if I were a parent” may be a nonsense phrase. I’m not aware of any parents who still hold the same beliefs across the board as their preconceptions of how they’d think about their kids.



Just because people often report the experience of massive perspectival shifts after becoming a parent doesn't actually elevate their authority on the matter, or invalidate the opinions/beliefs of non-parents. That's just a straight up fallacy. I'm not saying the average parent doesn't have relatively more authority on matters of parenting than the average non-parent, but there's nothing inherent about becoming a parent that justifies radically elevating the epistemic status of their beliefs about parenting.


I knew someone would say this. I almost used "as a parent" instead. Hacker news and the internet in general is full of people making opinions about things they aren't experts in and that's okay.

I wonder why parenting is the one that always triggers this kind of response. "You have to be a parent to have an opinion about parenting." What if I had said "if I worked for Gaggle" or "if I was a teacher". Would you have the same response?


I think it's a combination of being tired of constantly feeling judged on a very personal part of your life and a feeling that the dependency and inconvince a child, especially a small child, adds to your life is unmatched by almost anything else, giving other little experience to draw from when criticizing or otherwise "trying to help". Even when coming from other parents, unsolicited "advice" can be annoying because every child is different and every parent likes to parent differently.


I have observed the above re: parent vs. not yet parent.

Haven’t observed such a universal perspective shift across other fields of ‘expertise’, nor do those perspectives seem to shift until after more experience, while with parenting it seems to often shift on first realization (“at first sight”).

So no, “if I were a teacher” or “if I worked in medicine” and the like don’t seem as likely to be subject to change.

// Just to be clear: not saying this as a parent. I am not a parent.


There needs to be a name for the reverse Gell-Mann Amnesia Effect. I.e., "You don't have the right piece of paper/you're from the wrong background/insert other personal attack here, therefore you're not qualified to comment." It's an annoying, cheap way to dismiss a perfectly good argument via ad-hominem means rather than actual reasoning.




Guidelines | FAQ | Support | API | Security | Lists | Bookmarklet | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: