Its hard to find places in society where people go to meet other people. Bars are sort of them, but you tend to meet a lot of alcoholics. Hobby/activity groups are frequently too uncentered, culturally.
Freemason here. These groups are right where they always have been and, speaking for the Masons at least, are always interested in new members. Find a lodge in your area by googling "<your state/country> grand lodge" and drop them an email. You just might find what you're looking for.
What do Freemasons actually do? Why would one join?
Thanks one example, but shows the overall idea: anybody going to a meetup event has already accepted that this a publicly known event where there will probably be some new people, and wants to socialize with new people too.
Any social group based on a common interest (including board games) won't be a cross section of any culture, simply because it selects from a subset of people in that culture.
The default in most neighborhoods now is to not know your neighbors, everyone meets new people to talk with online, and that takes care of that impulse.
I've often thought it would be good to develop some sort of geographically based system of community for the Internet, where everyone is included in communities and sub-communities based on their physical location. So, a group of people formed by you and the people whose houses border your own, another group overlapping with that one for your neighbor's house and the ones that border it, a bigger group for the block and surrounding blocks, a bigger one for your part of the city, etc.
Edit: Forgot to explain... you'd chat, post pictures, etc social media style within the groups, and you'd be able to direct your visibility by choosing how you chat. Kind of like being in an MMORPG game, where you can use one kind of chat to talk to your group, another for your guild, another for the zone you're in, and another for the whole world.
Each person could publish anything that interested them, from pictures to links to information, and send invites to people in the local area for events or discussions.
The hard part is that people have to be automatically attached to these communities - there are a lot of people who won't care enough to opt in, there are still a lot of people who don't have internet access, there has to be policing and moderation.
It'd be necessary to work out in detail and law how to avoid its abuse, but that's true of most technology.
I think its one of the downsides of the multiculturalism is that the common denominator in terms of culture is smaller - becoming more frequently that you just straight up don't talk to neighbors because you don't trust their motives or beliefs. As a 30-something fairly liberal queer person, I'll have only very light and shallow conversations with my elderly neighbors, because I know they're in their house with Fox News on all day, and would vote for people who'd take away my rights any day. That doesn't mean I don't help them load heavy groceries out of their cars, or offer to help with something every once in a while, but there's this big barrier of culture and especially what is "acceptable" between us.
Time is up there too, but that often ties back to money for many of today's youth.
What? Are you implying that people with values and responsibilities can't be atheist or irreligious? How about people who don't go to church due to not living in a country as religious as the land of the free, do they lack values or responsibilities? Also how does that relate to my previous post? I just don't understand your post at all.
To your original point about drugs helping you make friends, I'd argue that you're making friends because 1. It's a shared experience, and 2. It's taboo, which forces extra trust between you and everyone who joins. Not so much as an effect of the drugs themselves.
Others in this thread dislike that you're suggesting drugs as a way to make friends because, well drugs are taboo. It's not like you can just post "Going to a rave and doing shrooms" as a meetup event online, nor can you invite your wife and kids to go camping and do LSD, so your suggestion is not very helpful for the kinds of people here who would be having a hard time making friends in their adulthood.
They said "people who have values go to church", which isn't the same statement. It's equivalent to "people who don't go to church don't have values". A -> B is equivalent to non-B -> non-A and so on.
>To your original point about drugs helping you make friends, I'd argue that you're making friends because 1. It's a shared experience, and 2. It's taboo, which forces extra trust between you and everyone who joins. Not so much as an effect of the drugs themselves.
We are in agreement there. The community aspect is paramount.
>It's not like you can just post "Going to a rave and doing shrooms" as a meetup event online
You absolutely can. Hell, I've been to plenty of those. (Of course they won't explicitly mention the drugs but given the clandestine or ephemeral setting and the kind of music you know what to expect.)
>nor can you invite your wife and kids to go camping and do LSD
Okay I admit I chuckled. Note that many festivals or similar events have whole families attending, complete with spouse and kids. Presumably the parents take care of the kids and don't give them acid but that doesn't prevent the friendmaking with fellow festival goers.
>so your suggestion is not very helpful for the kinds of people here who would be having a hard time making friends in their adulthood.
Most ravers are in their adulthood. Raves have been a thing for 30+ years, some of the early adopters are old enough to have grandkids.
Edit: I see now that you were merely replying to someone else that misquoted me. Know at least that my original post was not to say that only church-goers have values.
I think I've figured out how people don't make friends though. They find identity reasons not to. "I have values and responsibilities. I cannot do this thing." Or "I am an X. I cannot hang out with these people."
Genuinely I'm quite happy with my friends. We hang out absolutely sober now and run 10ks and half marathons together. We have each other's location shared and meet many times a week and occasionally randomly text to see if we want to hang out.
I made the majority of these friends after the age of 30 and everyone told me you can't have this spontaneity at this age. Turns out you can. You just need to find the other people.
And where are the average person's children over this weekend while the parent is busy getting high?
Socializing as parents is easier anyway. But even if you don't want that kind of thing, then it's up to you to make your life.
Besides you can come to a festival with your kids. You can hang out with your friends while they're getting high and just not partake. When we camp for longer festivals at least one of us will just not do drugs at all so we can have an assured ride home. And there are definitely little children around (though it's not common) at some of the friendlier mainstream parties (like the Anjuna Weekender)
This days, though, a lot of people find it unsavory to spend their time around others who are consuming alcohol. Also, when political and social faultlines run deep, not everyone is confortable in environments where there is no guarantee that the other people there share one's worldview and ethics.
I find that if you take an interest in people (actually listening to what they say), things (discover new hobbies) and cultures you can never run out of things to share. You also need not to be easily shocked by what you encounter.
I also noticed that American workplaces tend to be very sanitized environments where 'mingling' beyond a very casual level or having any deep discussion (about things like, say, religion or politics) is frowned upon and seen as 'unprofessional'. People getting fired or transfered for romantic relationships and stuff. That plus the rise of online dating (which means you can just pick people as in a supermarket, as it were, use them to fulfill whatever emotional needs you have, and discard - ghost - them without having to go through this messy social circle thingy) means there are less avenues for this 'circle snowball' effect. What a shame.
I might also suggest that evite.com may not be the best resource from which to get information you'll want to act on.
Turns out it's a "PR survey": https://www.onepoll.us/pr-surveys/ -- created by a company that's "uniquely positioned to offer data-led content which is guaranteed to grab headlines." Perhaps your business wants a "Personal spring clean" survey or a "Things that baffle women about men" survey; if so, these are your people.
Basically, it's a press release that happens to contain some numbers.
Maybe many of us find a few friends we really like and are good to go with those people. Quality > quantity.