Deep down, everyone who walks into the great snaking corridors of IKEA is playing a game of hide and seek.
But what does a person who goes there to play the game on purpose look like? What are the tells? Are they wearing IKEA bedlinen?
I love the idea of a stop and search on that scale and basis. “Hide and seek, officer? I just came to buy a Prickig and a couple of Pysslingars.”
I nearly lost it at the description of the humanoids SCP-3008-2.
Edit: Working my way through the journal entry - my goodness this stuff is straight-up made for its own movie or Netflix series!
Just wondering your thoughts on that, for such a big-budget production to make use of SCP concepts? Reminds me of the Slenderman films (except much much better).
A oroborous of being touched and touching, endlessly.
(I do not mean to be too unnerving, but can I help myself? I am one of the "creepier" fiction writers there! :) I haven't played the game yet because I don't have money. When I am able to better afford it I will buy and binge for sure! )
Like two adolescent child molesters.
Unlike some others I've been to, it is designed as one long twisty maze from start to finish. While there are shortcuts that allow you to skip some sections, the place is so closed in it is hard to keep oriented. You can't really navigate like you would a traditional store.
I'll never go again, and I know others who feel the same way.
This made me laugh. I can almost see the person arguing that that is just part of his daily wardrobe with a very matter of fact face.
This is an important problem to solve. I call on the engineers of this site to find a solution to the hide & seek scaling problem. Let's get to work!
It wasn't the only fun part though. Someone would always start giggling and give away the hideout.
As grownups, maybe the bar, or just hang out in the Ikea food court?
This has some neat extra elements, such as tactics ("I think I found them but I first need to misdirect and lose these guys"), gymnastics ("Found, so how am I going to fit my big ass into this tiny, already overcrowded spot"), and most importantly shared shadenfreude ("How are we supposed to hold our laughs if the last seeker just strolls by with all of us packed here?").
Do you know some other series from that era? I recently discovered "GoodNeighborStuff" which has the same quality sketch comedy feel to it.
Almost everything on channel101, even now, still feels like quality sketch comedy. Some of the best stuff though is Dan Harmon's original shows - though there are almost too many to watch http://www.channel101.com/talent/108
Go to jail? For what? What is the crime? I would say that at least in the US there would be no such thing for this type of activity. Can you imagine a prosecutor trying to make a case over this?
If you've been asked to leave, the crime would be trespassing.
If you are asked to leave, it would means that you were found, doesn't it?
> if you're found, you go to jail.
If you are found, you lose, you don't go to jail.
Not necessarily. You could be asked to leave with an announcement over the PA system.
Would that be valid legally though? Like how can you know it was targeting you? If they mentions everyone, that could works.
You will still not go to jail though and you can still try to avoid their sight (or else you'll be "found").
I also imagine IKEA has a loudspeaker system. If they announce "please, everyone, store hours are over, leave the IKEA" but you stay hidden, you're trespassing.
- Makes noise that is unreasonable, considering the nature and purpose of the actor's conduct, location, time of day or night, and other factors that would govern the conduct of a reasonably prudent person under the circumstances.
- Creates or maintains a hazardous or physically offensive condition.
You may have forgotten the "flash mob" craze, when people were sometimes rounded up en masse and prosecuted. This also happens when people get rowdy at bars, concerts, parades, political rallies, etc... It's a thing.
The ones arrested that have the means would hire private lawyers and receive deferred prosecution agreements or simply charges dropped.
The ones without the means would be assigned public defenders who would give them 1 hour of time every 2 weeks, just enough to wear them out and accept a plea deal in lieu of going to court.
The 1% that didn't have the means but fought anyways would go to court/trial, and would also have charges dropped before it went that far.
In the meantime the Ikea near me is packed as it is and they're busy selling stuff.
The only problem has been how to narrowly target this highly sought after group of customers. Because they are notoriously difficult to locate.
Older refrigerators (50's/60's) had a locking handle
 https://up.codes/s/occupant-load see mercantile in TABLE 1004.1.2 MAXIMUM FLOOR AREA ALLOWANCES PER OCCUPANT, but note warehouse requires 500 square feet per person, which is about half the area of the IKEAs I'm familiar with.
In the past, villages would play village football (or "mob football", or "Ba") against each other. The England-Scotland border was actually defined in part by the winner of an annual Ba game between Coldstream and Wark. The "Baa Green" south of the river went to the winner. Since Coldstream grew larger, it's pretty much permanently Scottish now.
But then the government banned the playing of football on the highways, and towns couldn't play against each other as easily any more. Spoilsports.
Every once in a while, The People of Eris get together and say, "We're going to do something silly and fun and surreal and wondrous and magical and thrilling!" And then The People of Greyface get together and say, "Stop that at once. Someone is going to get hurt, or laugh at the government, or something else equally awful. And that would be catastrophically disastrous. So, no fun for you. Off with you, now." It's an eternal struggle.
What? How does one look like they are there for a game of hide and seek v a regular shopper?
which is not surprising considering how successful the tradfri line of (affordable) smart home products has been (i’m a fan).
What's next? They start banning us for testing out the furnitures viability for The Floor is Lava?
I think IKEA realizes this as well.
(= Tell it to the judge)
It would be like buying a mattress without lying on it first.
Do you have to seek only people that look like they are hiding?
I thought it was a joke, is it meant to be a joke but some people are going to turn up having it taken it seriously?
Not an American, but I feel that could go badly.
The latest seems to be that they're organizing a festival called "Alienstock" in the desert near Area 51, maybe it could end up being similar to Burning Man or it could also just be a scam. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/aug/21/will-alienst...
(edit: God... don't read the comments on that clip...)
MVP would be just have some of the barcodes with a different colour background and give people barcode readers "capture 30 tags and get an icecream"; improves engagement, keeps kids interested in the "hunt"??
For people who want to experience some of the same thrill, try watching FailRace’s “Survive the Hunt” series on YouTube, in which he plays Grand Theft Auto V in a lobby with his fans. He is given a head-start to drive away from the group in his car, then he has to switch to a random vehicle and pretend to be one of the many AI cars. After a few minutes a swarm of 15 or so hunters comb the city looking for anyone out of place. The videos get more exciting when they see FailRace and he has to lose them, despite all of the hunters being in voice contact. It’s not the ideal version of this kind of game, because FailRace only goes on foot when he has no other option, but it is still fun to watch.
The playlist is https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLHw7hcztgbtslirPWPBL4.... That playlist isn’t complete for some reason; search FailRace’s other videos for “Survive the Hunt” to find the rest.
That said, you could still allow people who came to actually buy furniture.
Though, I think it would require more preparation than just winging it.
Ok... the title sounds way more alarming
In a previous life they used to be Spartans
Anyway, how do you efficiently stop a good game? You spoil it (cue Dr.Evil laugh). In this case use NN to analyze video feeds to identify a hiding person and deploy a Roomba (i feel like our civilization is on the precipice of the epoch where "deploy a Roomba" will be the answer to almost any situation) to the vicinity of the hiding person where the Roomba will loudly announce presence of the hiding person.