Over years and years of arguing online, I started to notice that few people change their minds. For most, argument is a sort of self-confirming rehearsal. You're being challenged to see if your articulation holds up to their assault, not to see if their position agrees with yours.
It became frustrating to witness this because, in part, the same arguments kept getting repeated. The same debunked points, the same rhetorical tactics, the same back-and-forth got boring to read and I started to feel like we were unable to solve or advance anything.
So I started not participating, but kept reading. I'd still see interesting information or links or citations. Lurking was still fun. And a funny thing happened: once I stopped participating, I became much more empathetic. I didn't agree with others more, but I felt much more to understand their points and their perspectives as "I could agree with this under these circumstances".
Nowadays I participate only to clearly rebut false information, to expand on something I agree with, or to inject good data. I'm rarely combative now, and I feel like I get a lot more out of online communities as spectator than a gladiator.
It became frustrating to witness this because, in part, the same arguments kept getting repeated. The same debunked points, the same rhetorical tactics, the same back-and-forth got boring to read and I started to feel like we were unable to solve or advance anything.
So I started not participating, but kept reading. I'd still see interesting information or links or citations. Lurking was still fun. And a funny thing happened: once I stopped participating, I became much more empathetic. I didn't agree with others more, but I felt much more to understand their points and their perspectives as "I could agree with this under these circumstances".
Nowadays I participate only to clearly rebut false information, to expand on something I agree with, or to inject good data. I'm rarely combative now, and I feel like I get a lot more out of online communities as spectator than a gladiator.