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Guys, if you do this, just remember that when they use their best friend to hit on you to see if you'll cheat, and how upset that makes you when you find out.

Turn-about is fair play if you aren't going to be straight-up about things.

I think that 'not being straight-up about things' is breaking things down waaay too generally. This guy basically found a way to 'cut in line' so that the woman could evaluate whether or not she liked him. She still got to choose whether she liked him or not based on the qualities that he possesses. He just made sure that he actually got a chance to be evaluated.

Another analogy would be like finding a way to make sure that your resume isn't one of the ones that is immediately thrown out by some HR person before being forwarded to the hiring manager. The hiring manager still gets to evaluate you based on your skills, but you just made sure that he/she even looked at your skills (vs being cut from the list for some arbitrary reason).

On the other hand, a girl having her best friend hit on you to see if you'll cheat demonstrates a fundamental lack of trust in the relationship. Regardless of the outcome, she's already demonstrated that she doesn't feel that she can trust you. This is a far deeper cut than convincing all of the extremely 'hunky' guys at a bar to leave (for some reason or another; maybe spread a rumor that the bar next door is giving away power tools or hair gel or something) so that you even have a chance with some of the attractive women there.

For some reason, it's just the 'pretending to be someone that you are not on the internet' that makes people throw up the 'creepy' flag. If I was to pretend to be someone that I'm not in real life, people would not immediately think that I was creepy. Hell, society seems to celebrate guys that lie about how successful they are in order to impress women.

One redditor, a few weeks ago, related the story of his fiancee using her best friend to test him like that.

However, I have a feeling that the intersection of the sets "Guys who meet girls through large-scale subterfuge" and "guys who get deceptively set up by their fiancees" is not large enough to be worth addressing in a comment like that.


If that happened to you, it's one woman who did it, not "they".

It's a pretty common stereotype - I don't know if I've ever seen it happen IRL but I've seen it happen a lot in movies/TV. I think ck can be forgiven the generalization.

We accept fact-less generalizations and stereotypes around here now?

So long as they're presented and taken as such, I don't see why not. ck2 never said "Every woman does X" or "Your girlfriend will surely do X".

I guess I took the "when" as a colloquial "if" - if your reading was more literal then I suppose I can see why you're upset.

If anything, seeing something regularly on TV but not in RL is evidence against it's RL prevalence. The people who write TV generally do not lead statistically typical lives, although they often seem to think that they do. See: Sex and the City.

At first I thought you were trying to say that 'they' couldn't be singular. To save others some time, it can. I double checked and made a post to correct you.

Than I realized what you really meant.

lol, couldn't happen to me but maybe I said that badly. I've seen guys complain about that type of behavior and I am just saying no-one should be playing these kinds of games if you want honesty from a relationship.

Now that I think about it, maybe relationships aren't the goal of this kind of behavior in the first place, so maybe this whole thread is a really bad idea for HN.

But surely it's two.

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