Hacker News new | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submit login

My mother, dad, aunts, etc. all immigrated to the US in a period of about 5 years. They all settled in Brooklyn and a few even lived in the same apartment complex. Growing up the extended family was HUGE and someone new was over every Sunday.

The next generation has become geographically spread out, I moved to the West Coast, a few of my cousins are in college out of state.. about half of this generation is likely to build their family outside of the NYC metro area, my children's generation is likely to split off from wherever I settle as well.

This is an unfortunate cost of the "American dream", my parents, aunts and uncles didn't have great paying jobs but they were close to family.. for the cost of a higher salary many of us make decisions that make communication with those we love difficult. Yesterday was my brother's 30th birthday but because of the time difference and work schedules we did not speak on the phone, only through text.






I never had a lot of family around while I was growing up. It was just my parents and sister, one set of grandparents (until my early teens), and a few other non-family people that my parents treated like family.

I similarly moved to the west coast. My parents have passed away, and my sister (and her family) still lives on the east coast. I've made myself a family of sorts out of a group of very close friends, but I do feel the lack of family sometimes, especially when I see how close some friends are with their (local) extended family members.

It's something I never expected to have, especially given the small nature of my family while growing up, and yet I still feel like I'm missing out on something.


I find myself an anomaly and doubt my life choices sometimes for deciding to stay near family rather than chasing the career dream. But perhaps it's because I saw the cost, in my parents' generation, of immigration and long distances. I saw the benefits too...

I moved away from family to a new city around 5 years ago for a job, and I'm in the midst of deciding if I should move back. Most of my immediate and extended family lives where I grew up, but job prospects aren't as good (I work remotely, so less important but still relevant), and culturally it's probably a step down from where I am. That said, I'm from a fairly large family, and having them around is something I miss despite visiting several times a year.

My grandparents as children lived in farming/ranching communities where all the rest of their family lived. But then along came WWII and after the war many went to college on GI Bills and subsequently ended up living far apart from each other. Their children ended up living in a number of different states. I have eight brothers and sisters and we all live in different states scattered all across the USA from east to west and north to south. It has been decades since we were last all together in the same location. I already assume that my children will settle down somewhere far removed from where they were raised. Heck, I plan on moving away from where I raised them when I retire. I just can't see how it could ever go back to families living in the same town. It seems so unrealistic and infeasible.

Yeah articles like this oen gloss over the nuclear family already being historically odd and perhaps the first step on this lonely disaggregation.



Guidelines | FAQ | Support | API | Security | Lists | Bookmarklet | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: