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> However if that abuse is coming from your stakeholder, you need to realise it's because they are receiving pressure

Some abusive people just believe that this is what makes them tough and effective. Has nothing to do with someone else pressuring them.

I used to give benefit of the doubt in these situations and think it is external, until I seen with such managers up close and it turned out it was them and only them begin source of their own assholery. The external parties were just enabling.




I'm going to second this. I've seen on more then one occasion that some people believe it's their job to do this on order to be most effective. I literally had PM tell me (as head of engineering) that they thought it was there job to set unrealistic expectations and adversarial environment in the hopes that it created an environment where the engineers worked longer.

I'm reality it creates a hostile work environment where burnout is high, morale is low, and projects take even longer to finish. It sacrifices all long term gains for short term results.




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