The reason the advice "be yourself" exists, and also why older people tend to be the ones expressing it, is that the danger in not being yourself is that you may wake up one day in a career or surrounded by people that do not accept you for who you are. And you end up trapped in a life where you have to pretend to be something you're not. The idea is that the younger you start being honest about yourself to others, the sooner you will wind up away from people that do not like your true self, and closer to people that appreciate you for that true self.
This advice can backfire if your natural state can get you in trouble and cause damage to your life. A perfect example of people not being themselves for their benefit is mental health services for people with minor issues. While a person's natural state may be to be very emotional, current society frowns upon most emotions beyond happiness, so it may be more beneficial for that person to take a drug to make them more in line with other's emotional level.
This is a great point, and one I think could make more sense if I (clumsily) update the saying to "Be true to yourself". I agree with the writer that most of us probably don't need to express every thought, no matter how negative or insulting, as it doesn't usually add a lot of benefit to our lives or others. However, I believe knowing what you want out of life, whether it's career, family, or hobbies, is definitely an important way to be happy. But, usually this doesn't negatively affect others.
Also, "be" is not necessarily a state of passivity. It can be an active process of determining what your goals and life-quality factors, and of carving out space in the world for them. That your self can be an ideal, rather than a default.
Of course life is fundamentally about eating other life, except for bacteria that eat rocks. So there could be an adversarial element to it
Totally off topic, but plants and fungi don't eat other life. Plants make their own food using waste products from animals. Fungi use dead and decaying matter for food.
Even more off topic, the only reason I feel the need to comment is my kid is prepping for a Singapore Science test and they seem to have a lot of questions about this stuff.
A possible counterpoint to that is that walking away from people has a price and it may not be easy to find people who accept you for who you are - especially if you perceive the more disagreeable side of yourself to be the more authentic.
Yes if you be yourself you might feel better, but you might lose out on friends, on a great job, on a marriage even. At the end of the day those people who regret not being themselves may not properly account for the things they wouldnt have if they had been.
> The reason the advice "be yourself" exists, and also why older people tend to be the ones expressing it, is that the danger in not being yourself is that you may wake up one day in a career or surrounded by people that do not accept you for who you are.
If you are an African American or female or both in the tech industry the above couldn't be more true.
This advice can backfire if your natural state can get you in trouble and cause damage to your life. A perfect example of people not being themselves for their benefit is mental health services for people with minor issues. While a person's natural state may be to be very emotional, current society frowns upon most emotions beyond happiness, so it may be more beneficial for that person to take a drug to make them more in line with other's emotional level.