Hacker Newsnew | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submitlogin

I really like this article. It's very concrete in terms of what the author experienced, how it felt, and the actions the people around her took to make her experience go well.

In a lot of the discussions around gender, I end up thinking. "OK, I care. Now what should I do?" This post actually has some answers.

Also, even though I've got basically all of the privilege merit badges, I can empathize with her about what it feels like to be intimidated and how a little caring support goes a very long way in that time.



I recently started reading about non violent communication, and this is a big tenet from what I gather. Affirmatively communicate your feelings and your needs.

I found there are two difficult aspects to this: clearly defining the relationship from feelings -> needs (many examples in the book of this, and how people twist words when asked to describe what other people do that they don’t like), and avoiding specific language mannerisms I’ve grown used to but recognize as following negative patterns.

I found the approach helpful when I tried using it during some emotionally tense situations.


Thank you! I'm so glad to hear you found it actionable, I was really hoping folks it would be :D




Consider applying for YC's Winter 2026 batch! Applications are open till Nov 10

Guidelines | FAQ | Lists | API | Security | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: