I ask them what skill they wish
they were better at. Then I ask
who they think is great at it. It
only takes a moment for it to
click – they don’t need a perfect
mentor that can do everything,
they can start by just reaching
out to learn a single skill from
a single person.
Granted, it usually doesn't seem to work very well, which supports your uncertainty. My experience is that general advisors mostly help bureaucratically, by making sure undecided students progress towards graduation while they explore topics. Which is obviously a bit short on real-life analogues, since beyond food and shelter there aren't many predetermined 'requirements' shared across all goals. But it at least has me wondering about the possibility of seeking a different style of mentor. Perhaps someone who's moved through several fields, or someone in a potentially-interesting domain chosen less for excellence than for their ability to give you an efficient taste of the field? If you're as far as a tentative goal this becomes fairly easy, as with undergrads doing research work or prospective law students doing paralegal/law-office work.
I don't have any great answer here, though, and I'd really like one. There are several things I'm interested in which seem to either lack this sort of pre-entry mentorship or lack any experts at all. If my desired skill is "the intersection of X and Y", but I can only find experts in X or Y... it looks like I'm rather on my own.
In every case, though, the meaningful help has come from someone who knows me - either because we talked shop at the gym, played football or board games together, or because they were actually formally my manager (or CEO or whatever). So I think it's unlikely anyone could _really_ help you online with this particular problem.
In attempting to replicate my mentorship experience for someone else, I find that this is easier with some people and harder with others. I haven't yet quite captured what it is, but I think at least a small portion of it is the will to progress in an exploratory manner and iterate rapidly on that. i.e. you don't actually find out what you want to do so much as you aim for a safe but challenging opportunity in some area that has clear success criteria and then you see if that specific opportunity thrilled you.
decisivenes, or self-sufficiency are also skills. Or,
"coming back is not same as staying" - was this written in Amsterdam somewhere?
(and the cheshire cat said it doesnot matter which way u start if it does not matter where u want to go.. u still reach somewhere. if..)
so.. if u dont know where-to go / progress..
do u want to go/progress ?
and why that?
I think a better question for me personally would be: "what dreams have I purposefully turned away from?" And better yet, 'why?'
I grew up with people telling me how smart I was, and how I was going to do great things, and 'oh, I expect to see your name in a newspaper someday', etc. So I dreamt big. Spaceships, mining the stratosphere of Jupiter or the asteroid belt, and so on. Kid dreams without restriction.
I began stepping back from these very big things when I got married. What kind of time commitment will it take for me to be the absolute best? What would it mean for me to dump my heart and soul into something other than the one I love? At the end, when I've got ten minutes of life left, would I be satisfied with what I had done?
I don't like the answers I have to the questions above. The bottom line for me is the question "What really matters? Not just to me, but when considering the largest scope of reality."
The value of human life is not our achievements, or our legacy that we leave behind, or a name that will be remembered. Rather, our value is our capacity to love God and love other people. In fact, we aren't asked to do anything more than that.
Sure, we are given passion and desire to do and to build and to create. And we should follow that to the extent we are able (beyond our own frail fears and mental limitations). But the end of the line isn't what we achieve. It can't be. Because (depending on who you listen to) in a few trillion years it'll all wind down into a steady-state soup. Meaning will be lost to the dead and dying universe.
TL;DR: leave it a dream if you have some end-goal as the reason for the doing of the thing (ie, money, fame, wealth, notoriety, etc.). It's ok to have some end goals, just don't make them the reason you do something.
In my area, I just need a successful person.
Lots of 6 fig earners from their day job, cant find a soul doing anything outside that.
I already have a popular website, but I'm having trouble doing the business side of things.