Kim Scott wrote extensively about this in her book "Radical Candor" . Do yourself a favor and skip the video snippets and TED talks, and go straight to the book (so you don't get caught up on the click-baity "radical candor quadrant"). This is particularly true if you manage teams - or ever aspire to.
The author is a former Googler and used to report to Sheryl Sandberg during the early days, before going to Apple and working with Jobs and Tim Cook, and more recently with Dick Costolo on Twitter.
This is one of those books I wish I had read when I started my career. It would have saved me from so much pain and mistakes learned the hard way.