|I am active and known in a certain small industry in my home country ("developing world" kinda place) after 15+ years of online presence.|
Over the past years I've been feeling constrained and unhappy with that identity. I also felt very alien in my home country and culture, both afk and online. Even my mother tongue and given name are not something I like. They all associate with the world I don't enjoy nor support.
While I'm obviously not a native English speaker, I feel more "at home" while communicating in and consuming English and living in the Western society.
I moved to a western country, but online I was still "there". Now I want to ditch my established identity and start afresh, under a new name. Distance myself from the culture I grew up in.
Of course, I could do all that without changing my name, but I feel like the old world would leak and haunt me.
Recently I came across the "ex Muslim" subreddit, and felt a weird familiarity. My troubles are nothing compared to those who grew up in a religious world and found the courage to leave and be vocal about it. But I could relate in a way. They feel like "the old life" is constantly trying to leak in and poke them.
It worries me, and I thought maybe we could discuss this type of cyber-rebirth, its caveats. Maybe someone has relevant experience and wouldn't mind sharing.
- How do you make sure the old identity doesn't leak into the new one? (apart from obvious technical non-contamination policy)
- Feels like starting from scratch in 2018 is harder than it was 15 years ago. Maybe it's the other way around. I guess I'm getting cold feet.
- I want to write and create, but I'm worried that being this weird person who magically appeared on the internet just a few months ago would make people wary. Google my new name: the guy never existed before 2018. Where the hell was he?
- Will changing full legal name (first and last) bring lots of problems for years to come?
- Am I being silly?