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I like responding with questions (or completely off topic statements) in a polite manner. This way police think that you're being cooperative and chatty, as well as bowing to their authority, when you're really not.

"Was your trip business or pleasure?": "Is there a difference?" (with a smile, or a sarcastic sigh).

"Do you know why I pulled you over?": "My friend was once pulled over and thanked for properly signaling!" (big "i'm clearly joking" smile).

"Do you have anything you'd like to tell me?": "My mom always used to ask that a lot... usually when I was in trouble. Am I in trouble?" (smiling! always smiling!)

This usually gets them talking back in a joking manner... or get straight to the point. Either way, you've established that you're smart and friendly, not a smart-ass. When they do get to the point, you can usually clearly state (with a smile!) "I'm afraid a lawyer friend once told me not to answer these questions when pulled over."

You might get some special attention, but you probably won't be put in the naughty corner and told to "cool down".

If I was an officer and you gave me those answers (with the possible exception of the business or pleasure question), I'd be more annoyed than if you just said "no". Smart-ass is exactly the vibe I'm getting from them. I'm probably not like most police officers, though.

Only that you're probably less likely to pull him out of the car and beat him within an inch of his life, than most "officers" would to someone being sarcastic or joking.

"Do you have anything you'd like to tell me?

/me activates qik on Android /me tagging qik stream with #copwatch /me looking both ways, leaning forward, stage whisper

I could use a blowjob

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