If I think about it directly, I find it a saddening for a very brief moment, but it's nothing like it once was.
I'm not really sure when or how this changed for me. I'm an extremely monogamous person. I previously had very low self esteem. It was definitely in part a reflection of my insecurities.
I take 10mg of citalopram a day and underwent CBT partway through university due to undiagnosed anxiety, so perhaps this has played a role in my recovery.
Hope you both are doing okay, try and be kind to yourselves - I know it can be extremely difficult.