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> curt/cold/condescending

This is a rather broad and not very actionable criticism. Can you get more specific feedback? For example, something of the form "In situation X, you did/said Y, and that led me to think Z" is more actionable. Also, it is useful to pay attention to the classification problems that your engineer faces. There is a sometimes a balance between being condescending by giving someone info they already know and not providing enough context for an explanation.

The book "Thanks for the Feedback" [1] is a good read and Erika Carlson's talk[2] from Lead Developer UK is a good watch.

[1] https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thanks-Feedback-Science-Receiving-W...

[2] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsfNS9HSWQs

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