you're not crazy. i have tried to come up with a scenario that would let SF match the material wealth I have in seattle for less than 300k/year (2x increase), but to no avail. It's just not a sensible place to have a family.
FWIW if you’re working at on of the Big 5 that’s pretty achievable, although primarily in RSUs. I started at $125k and was at over $300k total after three years. Obviously at a start up it’s going to be very different.