I agree. Programming forums are full of this crap. I hate asking a pretty straightforward question online and getting that patronizing "But what are you really trying to do?" response.
What I'm really trying to do is get an answer to this specific question. I'm not asking you to re-think my problem statement. Thanks for not helping.
At the same time we're getting a lot of people with XY-problems. They think they know what the problem is and they think they know what they about have to do, while the real problem is somewhere else. If someone's intend with an asked question isn't clear, then "But what are you really trying to do?" is a valid question.
It's impossible for anyone to just know what you're intentions are and whether you understand the deeper semantics of a problem. More often than not, people try to do things for the wrong reasons.
I dunno, I've been on both sides of this. I agree it's really annoying when someone waltzes around without answering my question. But I've also seen people asking questions which sounded goofy to me, and when you finally get them to tell you want they are actually trying to do, there's a much easier and more direct approach.
I think it's great for people on the "answering" side to indicate that they're willing to go beyond the literal question and offer more general support.
But as soon the asker has turned down an offer of that sort once, I really really wish people who aren't going to answer the question being asked would stay out of the conversation.
What I'm really trying to do is get an answer to this specific question. I'm not asking you to re-think my problem statement. Thanks for not helping.