I'm the only person who leaves the office during my lunch hour, alone. I get funny looks, and my coworkers sometimes ask me "where have you been?"
It's a weird company culture and I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to put up with it.
You may be over analyzing it. Are you sure its not just small talk, like "where did you go for lunch, was it any good?" Talking about restaurants and food is one of the most popular conversation topics at my office.
I'd say it would depend on the tone and body language in which it was said; the words themselves, "where have you been?", could easily take on multiple meaning depending on inflection and delivery.
It could be small talk, and maybe it might be a cultural difference, but the words alone (without taking inflection, etc into account) sound accusatory to me; if they were really wanting to know where their coworker had gone to lunch, and whether it was any good or whatnot, I would think they would phrase it closer to what you wrote, rather than what the OP has stated.
I don't know how long they'll be able to keep it up as they grow, but I thought it was great.
As an introvert, being around people socially at work like this drains the hell out of me. Sure, I can put on a happy face for the meeting, but it'll also take me an extra hour or two to recharge afterwards. Which is purely wasted time.
How is it "strengthening the team" when any introvert there is surely wishing they could just do their job without these sorts of social interruptions? These extrovert-centric assumptions drive me crazy, including at my current job.
Just because this sort of social extroversion makes YOU feel more connected, please don't assume that everyone else feels the same way. I feel FAR more connected to the team quietly working on difficult projects without interruption. If I wanted to socialize I'd do it on my own time and in my own way.
In your and your coworker's situation, and the parent's situation - this may be the case - but I'd argue that it is the exception for most people and most job situations.
It is one of the driving arguments (stated or not) behind the resistance to the concept of "universal basic income" (UBI) and instead the rallying for "more jobs" (speaking from the perspective of the USA here, I don't really know what the situation is like elsewhere - I have feelings that it varies depending on the culture).
I believe that most people do build their lives around their work, and the people at them. They work with these people for a long part of their weekdays; then they go home usually to a family (children, spouse, pets) and may not have much interaction with other people who are friends (maybe a phone chat occasionally - and perhaps the rare get together). They look at their coworkers as their peer and friend group.
Unfortunately, that also brings all the baggage and strife with it such social situations can lead to. It is likely what fosters and aggravates the petty office politics and group dynamics - perhaps part of what leads to worse situations. This all can seem odd to people who are introverts and don't build their lives around their work environment, but it doesn't seem to be the norm.
That's all my opinion, and I could very well be wrong, its just based on what I have seen and experienced over my decades of employment. For what it's worth, I'm fairly introverted myself, but I also try to understand my coworkers (specifically and in the general sense) and their views on work/life, which is why I have come to these conclusions (right or wrong as the case may be, I suppose).
It probably is and I feel fortunate that I found a job that allows me to be what I consider human. I feel like the alternate situations that "force a family" upon an employee to be somewhat cruel, but I'm a fairly anti-social person for what it is worth. Maybe I mean "nonsocial"? I will leave that as an exercise for the reader.
> I believe that most people do build their lives around their work, and the people at them. They work with these people for a long part of their weekdays; then they go home usually to a family (children, spouse, pets) and may not have much interaction with other people who are friends (maybe a phone chat occasionally - and perhaps the rare get together). They look at their coworkers as their peer and friend group.
Oh yeah, the grind! I dropped out of college when I started to sense this was where my life was headed and if my former friend group is any indicator, I dodged the figurative bullet.
> That's all my opinion, and I could very well be wrong, its just based on what I have seen and experienced over my decades of employment.
You're totally right, I just reject it as the end-all-be-all and won't settle for such an outcome. Thanks for your point of view.
I worked remotely for a couple of years and now realized how much more i enjoy work when i have other developers around, otherwise i would lead a pretty lonely live.
I become obsessed and enthralled with the work itself, sometimes to the point of wanting to work 12-16 hour days to solve deeper problems that are bothersome. Working short days has never been an issue for me. This is exactly what I mean by projection. You would want to leave early if you felt isolated. But I enjoy it and want to stay longer.
>I worked remotely for a couple of years and now realized how much more i enjoy work when i have other developers around, otherwise i would lead a pretty lonely live.
This is not "fairly introverted." What you are describing is a textbook example of "fairly extroverted." You enjoy working around others and begin to feel lonely otherwise. I generally don't, in either case.
I am definitely not extroverted, i get nervous before meetings and team building events and they drain a lot of my energy and concentration during the day. It's just when working remotely for years, sometimes i didn't talk to anyone for days and that can get unhealthy after some time. I also just enjoy discussing technical issues with coworkers.
Not saying you are doing it wrong, god forbid. In my early thirties now I definitely would not work 12-16hour days anymore as an employee without being a shareholder though.
Sure, I agree with you there, and I never go days without talking to anyone. I just don't especially need to talk to many people at work. Just read my code, it's all there.
>In my early thirties now I definitely would not work 12-16hour days anymore as an employee without being a shareholder though.
Why? Sitting at home is more boring, I have more influence at work and the changes I roll out have more impact. Plus I tend to learn more on the job, become more crucial at the company, develop more skills, yada yada.
True, but i'd like to spend my freetime on my own projects and am trying to finish a CS degree part time. Combined with my learning at home, i am doing 12hour days, but I wouldn't spend all that time at the company i work for right now. Also my girlfriend wouldn't approve ;)
The founder whose idea this was is an introvert, and so are many others on the team, all of whom chose to work there knowing about this.
It's not very useful to give yourself and others a binary label and then use it to assume people's behaviors, desires, habits, etc.
Sadly we don't have the luxury of having such flexible hours and large vacation packages as is standard in foreign countries.
Luckily where I work there's a small boating lake that I can walk around just across the road which is incredibly nice to walk around for half an hour every lunch time. It's also lucky that my colleagues all like to go alone for lunch too :D