This sounds like a fairly classic case of burnout, which you've probably gathered from reading the other comments here. There's good news and bad news in that.
On the good news: there are some short-term fixes you can pursue that will probably help a lot.
* Antidepressants, while I don't think they're a long-term solution for anybody with exogenous depression (i.e. you're not someone with a chemical imbalance in your personal biology) can be really, really useful for helping you climb out of a rut. I was dealing with a really bad streak of depression awhile back and didn't even realize it because the character of it was so different from what I was used to in my 20s. After a few months and some targeted counseling, I found I was operating with much more clarity.
* Better sleep—you didn't mention it, but I can guess that you're burning the candle at both ends and have been for some time. My particular antidepressant helped immensely with that as well.
* Counseling. This is one a lot of us have trouble with when it comes to taking that step. But do it, seriously. And you might be surprised to find out your wife probably already has a good idea about it—mine saw it way before I did. She didn't know exactly what the problem was, but she knew we weren't just fighting about whose turn it was to do the dishes.
* Perspective. This is really hard to get when you're in the midst of a depressive cycle or dealing with burnout. You are highly unlikely to be the only one who can do your job. It may take some training to get someone else to learn this stuff, and there may be some hiccups along the way, but unless your business is incredibly brittle you'll be ok. Look around at your industry and try to identify people who could do slices of your job, and then maybe have some conversations and see what it would take to get them to join you. If the programming is really just dead-simple CRUD for the most part, consider outsourcing it to someone or a team who will work on it hourly or weekly.
The bad news:
* Yes, as a founder you're likely part of the acquisition. This doesn't mean you don't have some room to negotiate with the acquiring company for a month or two of vacation after it closes. Take some time and go to the beach and recharge. You may not want to come back at the end but you'll at least feel rested enough to do the job.
* If you're really burnt out, this can take some time to climb out of. Be patient with yourself and put structures in your life to help you get out of it. I started taking a karate class in a style I spent almost a decade in 20 years ago—its really helped a lot to be physical, and since I'm not the kind of person who is terribly motivated to go to a gym, its probably my only real option realistically to get myself to work out. Whatever your thing is, you gotta build in breaks somewhere.
When you get through this, put a reminder on your calendar far in the future, far enough you'll forget you did it, and if you can predict stressful periods, during or just before one of those. Give your future self some words of encouragement. Mine popped up on May 1 and was a much-needed reminder of a few things going into my busy season.
You'll be ok man, just try not to do anything drastic when you're feeling this way. When "here" looks bad, sometimes "anywhere but here" seems like it'd be better, but all that baggage you just bring with you.
Or, you know, go to an accredited medical professional instead of taking medical advice from randos on HN. Incidentally, a side effect of depression is also addiction.
On the good news: there are some short-term fixes you can pursue that will probably help a lot.
* Antidepressants, while I don't think they're a long-term solution for anybody with exogenous depression (i.e. you're not someone with a chemical imbalance in your personal biology) can be really, really useful for helping you climb out of a rut. I was dealing with a really bad streak of depression awhile back and didn't even realize it because the character of it was so different from what I was used to in my 20s. After a few months and some targeted counseling, I found I was operating with much more clarity.
* Better sleep—you didn't mention it, but I can guess that you're burning the candle at both ends and have been for some time. My particular antidepressant helped immensely with that as well.
* Counseling. This is one a lot of us have trouble with when it comes to taking that step. But do it, seriously. And you might be surprised to find out your wife probably already has a good idea about it—mine saw it way before I did. She didn't know exactly what the problem was, but she knew we weren't just fighting about whose turn it was to do the dishes.
* Perspective. This is really hard to get when you're in the midst of a depressive cycle or dealing with burnout. You are highly unlikely to be the only one who can do your job. It may take some training to get someone else to learn this stuff, and there may be some hiccups along the way, but unless your business is incredibly brittle you'll be ok. Look around at your industry and try to identify people who could do slices of your job, and then maybe have some conversations and see what it would take to get them to join you. If the programming is really just dead-simple CRUD for the most part, consider outsourcing it to someone or a team who will work on it hourly or weekly.
The bad news:
* Yes, as a founder you're likely part of the acquisition. This doesn't mean you don't have some room to negotiate with the acquiring company for a month or two of vacation after it closes. Take some time and go to the beach and recharge. You may not want to come back at the end but you'll at least feel rested enough to do the job.
* If you're really burnt out, this can take some time to climb out of. Be patient with yourself and put structures in your life to help you get out of it. I started taking a karate class in a style I spent almost a decade in 20 years ago—its really helped a lot to be physical, and since I'm not the kind of person who is terribly motivated to go to a gym, its probably my only real option realistically to get myself to work out. Whatever your thing is, you gotta build in breaks somewhere.
When you get through this, put a reminder on your calendar far in the future, far enough you'll forget you did it, and if you can predict stressful periods, during or just before one of those. Give your future self some words of encouragement. Mine popped up on May 1 and was a much-needed reminder of a few things going into my busy season.
You'll be ok man, just try not to do anything drastic when you're feeling this way. When "here" looks bad, sometimes "anywhere but here" seems like it'd be better, but all that baggage you just bring with you.