To me, simply asking the question seems a bit 'off'. I mean, what do you mean 'final straw'? It bothers you that someone has some mild curiosity about what you've been up to? I probably wouldn't respond to that either. Sometimes you're just curious what that kid in your ____ grade class that you never really spoke to is up to. For whatever reason. I just assume that if they are the 'Facebook is only for close friends' type, then they will simply not accept the request. No big deal. I accept requests from people I don't necessarily know that well, but share some kind of background with (went to school together, used to be coworkers, etc.). I also know people who don't, and that's totally fine too. But they don't get offended by getting requests from people they don't necessarily know that well.
There's nothing nefarious about it. If I got your question, I'd be torn between just saying "just curious what you have been up to for ____ years, that's all," and her response, because the question in and of itself seems kind of unusual.
There's nothing nefarious about it. If I got your question, I'd be torn between just saying "just curious what you have been up to for ____ years, that's all," and her response, because the question in and of itself seems kind of unusual.