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Having built my own ORM and my own distributed key/value JSON store with index over HTTP I can say SQL is the problem, SQL databases are older than the internet, they have not evolved since the 70s. You need async on the network preferably over HTTP (to be client agnostic) and almost no database provides that today. Heck no programming language provides multi threaded non blocking IO with shared memory, only C++ (and maybe modern attempts Rust, Go, Swift etc.) and Java (C#) are capable languages.

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