I experienced a similar bump when transitioning from high school to university and then right before my bachelor's degree.
I was looking for something. Had no idea what it was. Everyone else seemed to be doing fine. It was very frustrating and demotivational.
I cleared the first bump by meeting a great group that accepted me and challenged my wit every waking minute with them. It helped me turn my brain on not only for school, but I also started working.
Even though I still had no sense of direction and constantly training my brain on the world around brought about a period of numbness and depression, I was very focused on any task I either had to do or wanted to learn.
The second bump was university where I was already working/studying 50/50. Had to choose work or school and I chose both. It worked out.
Put aside the fact it was the wrong masters or even the wrong university, I pulled it off just to prove a point to myself.
I've started aiming very high in math, optimization, complexity. I was bad at all of them, but my reasoning behind that was "master this and you will be beyond fabulous".
Studying on my own helped a ton. The books that don't make sense in course start making sense, because there is no one else but you to interpret them.
Now at 33 I am finally getting constant influx of challenges and new problems to play with. And I am ready, because I chose not to shut my brain off earlier.
I may not be the "happy" type, but as long as I can use my mind and get constantly challenged, I don't feel the desperation I used to.
One last thing. I had abysmally low self-esteem. I still struggle, because I have a lot of more intelligent and/or accomplished people around me.
Though that's better than the other way around, because it keeps you on your toes and eventually you can learn how not to underestimate and degrade yourself. I learned that I cannot compare to everyone, but I can try to get as close as possible by working hard.
Advice to my past self:
1 constantly think about everything
2 try to get to the bottom of it
3 study on your own
4 if your spec sucks, switch masters early
5 try lots of different courses
6 aim higher, even if you cannot make it
7 be skeptical, but learn to assess your value better
8 don't think small, e. g. only in terms of your country
Below are the results. The road was hard.
I experienced a similar bump when transitioning from high school to university and then right before my bachelor's degree.
I was looking for something. Had no idea what it was. Everyone else seemed to be doing fine. It was very frustrating and demotivational.
I cleared the first bump by meeting a great group that accepted me and challenged my wit every waking minute with them. It helped me turn my brain on not only for school, but I also started working.
Even though I still had no sense of direction and constantly training my brain on the world around brought about a period of numbness and depression, I was very focused on any task I either had to do or wanted to learn.
The second bump was university where I was already working/studying 50/50. Had to choose work or school and I chose both. It worked out.
Put aside the fact it was the wrong masters or even the wrong university, I pulled it off just to prove a point to myself.
I've started aiming very high in math, optimization, complexity. I was bad at all of them, but my reasoning behind that was "master this and you will be beyond fabulous".
Studying on my own helped a ton. The books that don't make sense in course start making sense, because there is no one else but you to interpret them.
Now at 33 I am finally getting constant influx of challenges and new problems to play with. And I am ready, because I chose not to shut my brain off earlier.
I may not be the "happy" type, but as long as I can use my mind and get constantly challenged, I don't feel the desperation I used to.
One last thing. I had abysmally low self-esteem. I still struggle, because I have a lot of more intelligent and/or accomplished people around me.
Though that's better than the other way around, because it keeps you on your toes and eventually you can learn how not to underestimate and degrade yourself. I learned that I cannot compare to everyone, but I can try to get as close as possible by working hard.
Advice to my past self: 1 constantly think about everything 2 try to get to the bottom of it 3 study on your own 4 if your spec sucks, switch masters early 5 try lots of different courses 6 aim higher, even if you cannot make it 7 be skeptical, but learn to assess your value better 8 don't think small, e. g. only in terms of your country