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Care to elaborate on the Seattle-freeze? I'm about to relocate to the region. Is it really that bad?



People are polite to you but no one wants to hang out with you. Ever. Coworkers will tell you about a great party they're going to and will not invite you to come along. It's thoroughly depressing.

I highly recommend joining a cult. AFAIK crossfit and november project are up there. If you're young enough Maestro Wenarto has a 'personality cult' that is a lot of fun. Seek him out, tell him you heard that he and his friends are really fun to hang out with, offer to be in one of his youtube videos (1) , bring top shelf alcohol as a gift. It'll help if you're good looking, outgoing, and a fun loving extrovert. Don't mention the 'cult' aspect ;)

(1) 'cults' require a negative aspect to define an inner group. You don't get to be in this cult without publicly embarrassing yourself. Still better than crossfit or november project IMO.

BTW - treat SAD with blue light therapy or you'll be depressed 9 months of the year.

Best of luck.


I've lived here for 10 years and can see it from both sides. Nobody will pull you out if you don't want to go out. I've made plenty of friends here with people who share my common interests, because I involve myself in sports, music, conferences, meetups, message boards. If I get an invite I try to take it because it might not happen again. Seattle has been traditionally (before the most recent influx of tech) passive, so if people see you at the bar alone in your thoughts, they will assume you want to be alone with your thoughts. I can often be introverted especially when work is heavy so this resonates with me just fine.

People work really hard, there are a ton of small businesses and the success of Seattle is only making the cost of living higher, so we all keep working. Many of the tech workers work overtime and hang out in the same places near work, so I don't see them. I go to restaurants without wait times and places in my neighborhood, Seattle is very neighborhood-y which may be unusual for people who relocate from Midwest or rural areas of America (I've lived there too).

Another good way to meet people is friends of your-friends-who-don't-live-here, so many people have moved here that I'm often 1 degree away from someone with who I have a commonality. Many people move here and bring their friends soon after so they already are setup with friends. But I don't know where these people are who are 'frozen' out of our friend group. Shoot the whole city is watching Seahawks every Sunday and you would be welcome rooting in any of those groups that I frequent. But whereever the frozen are looking is not where we are.


I lived in Seattle for 6 years. Seattle freeze is pretty bad. Everyone is polite, but if you try to become friends with anyone or get to know them better, they will "freeze you out" by coming up with endless excuses. Hence the name.

The main thing to keep in mind is that the problem is not you. It's Seattle natives. Seattle is a pretty cool city and very welcoming, but underneath the veneer there's a thick layer of disinterest towards befriending non-natives.




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