I don't think you can fix this with code, much less your usual tactic of adding heuristics to moderate/voteweight/ban.
I, for one, won't try to second-guess your decisions. The Onion has been around for a long (internet) time, and I suspect most of the Web101 suggestions have been considered.
Besides, you guys have left me in stitches too many times for me to be particularly critical. Thanks for existing!