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I doubt that this will ever work in countries other than China because women (and marriage) in other countries are mostly protected by law, while in china, women are not so well protected. Also, culturally speaking, a divorced woman is very hard to get marriage in China. While a divorced man is easy. In society, People think that "divorce" somehow depreciated the value of a woman, while "divorce" means nothing (sometimes positive thing) for a man. Also, after marriage, Chinese woman will not focus mostly on work or career promotion but rather on family, so in the long term, they are 1) financially attached to the husband 2) emotionally attached to the husband. This makes them want to "fix" the marriage rather than abandon it, even if the fix is superficial and (maybe) temporary.

But as more and more young women (born after 80s and 90s) are married, this kind of issue may be mitigating. Because young women tend to be much well-educated and wealthy

I am a Chinese. as far as I know, even the relatively backward rural areas currently divorce has become more common. I d'not know what is progress?

surely the one child policy will give women an upper hand in the coming 20 years?


All things being equal, yes women would have the upper hand.

But cultural norms warp things a little more. The cultural tendency is for a man to marry down, and a women marry up in social level terms.

Which means there's a layer of women near the top who can't find a husband. Particularly in professional careers. And the lowest social rung of men have no women to marry down.

This asymmetry means there's a band of powerful and successful women who don't normally find husbands. They become China's "leftover women", who have basically given up on the idea of marriage beyond the age of 27. One recent solution here is these women look abroad for suitable husbands. Despite being negged annually, the social stigma of not marrying up takes many options away from women.

I always find it strange how we make it seem like mate criteria is sacrosanct and beyond critique.

I get that norms are strong. But in tech, we are constantly asked to question norms all the time and at times, deliberately counterbalance them. Surely we should also question social norms that inform our thinking in finding a mate? Especially if the person is having trouble finding someone suitable.

If I were to say to you I had trouble finding a woman, I don't think people here would say, "hey you should look at dating someone overseas." I think people might suggest opening my scope to other ethnicities/body types/meeting opportunities.

China's "leftover women: [the phrase] is part of an orchestrated state campaign to push “high-quality” women into marriage and having children. The phenomenon of “leftover women” was actually created by the Chinese government through a “very aggressive state media campaign.”

The problem has been named and created, whereas the initial reality was different.


No, because even though there may be fewer young, attractive women due to the policy there are still hardly any wealthy, single men, comparatively speaking.


No more than every man being entitled to a gorgeous woman.

For most people, political correctness flies right out the window when it comes to sexual attraction and mate selection.

In Japan I would say it is similar, maybe not up to such extend but also in the same way

Yeah I heard about that, it is sad that Japan women are suffering from this too.

wow, as a Chinese myself, I agree on everything you said. Well put!



Did you read the article? Men in China institute the vast majority of divorces, and they usually keep the house (even if the women helped pay for it), the children, the money, and the higher earning potential. This isn't women unfairly taking all of men's resources, this is women being left homeless when their husbands find another partner.

In contrast, men in the US get custody as much as women when they pursue it. And while I won't argue about the exact proportion of money that is kept by the man and the woman, neither party is left homeless and jobless.

So your comment seems like a false equivalence to me. Furthermore, even if the Western situation is biased against men, that doesn't make China's system any more acceptable. Two wrongs don't make a right, after all.

The divorce rate in the USA is nowhere near that high. It peaked at around 60% in the 80s and has fallen to below 50% since then.

There is a reason many woman want the apartment in their name as a co owner before they get married: otherwise they'll have no recourse on divorce. Even if they helped pay for it, they need their name there or they have no rights. This is how it is in China, relatively simple. As for parental rights, lots of moms never see their kids again as they go to live with the husband's family, same problems, different victims!

He said that women file 65-70% of divorces, not that the divorce rate is 65-75%.

> The divorce rate in the USA is nowhere near that high. It peaked at around 60% in the 80s and has fallen to below 50% since then.

I should have stated that better. Historically, in America, from the late 19th Century until the present, women have filed the majority of divorces; approximately two thirds, regardless of prevalent economic circumstances.

Well, that makes more sense. I honestly never thought about who filed, even in my parents' divorce.

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